30 June 2010

Flooding in July

Technically it's actually June, but who the hell cares. Now, I've got news for you - those who bother to read this, anyway. Those who manage to finish reading this post without falling asleep gets a bonus coffee. With chocolate. Heard that was supposed to keep you awake.

Anyway, deadlines are here again. Hooray. Everytime I try to sleep, I am kept awake by the damned deadlines hoveringhoveringhovering above my head. I can't sleep. That's what I'm trying to tell people. Apparently it's not apparent enough by the apparent eyebags on my face. So: insomnia.

And then there are multiple friendship issues. I have been turned off socializing. It's not all it's cracked up to be, honestly, and please don't believe me. Please go ahead and think that mixing with friends is a awesome way to spend your time, and stop bothering me. I am in no way interested in you. I am a very selfish individual.

I care only about me, myself, milk chocolate and yaoi.

And then, there's the problem of commitment. Yay, I know that's my favourite topic, because I am totally not committed. Yay. I have not been dreaming lately, nor have I been writing lately, nor have I been... doing any homework lately. Recently, meaning earlier today, I copied German homework.

I have absolutely no idea if it was correct. I also know zilch about whether the teacher suspects copying, but of course she must, given that I am so sincere I couldn't possibly be sincere, which actually simply means I am suspicious by being not suspicious, which doesn't really make sense, but let's continue.

Personally, I know I have many, many complicated mental issues, among those severe brain damage, obsessive compulsive disorder, and many unknown phobias, any of which could prove life-threatening at any time in the future.

Personally, I have also decided that I will add laziness to that list, therefore negating any need to get rid of that list, or cure any disease I have, because I am lazy.

Anyway, it has been decided that my online life will be postponed for an unknown period of time, because I need to get good grades for my Chinese for my online life in the long run. Let us all disregard the fact that I am likely to get a computer for a present in the next ten years.

Let us all also disregard that this post is ending, and I have drank the coffee and the chocolate.

22 June 2010

OH THE LOVE

So, apparently, once again, I'm not allowed online. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO?

THAT REQUIRES A COMPUTER?

Well, my parents don't know, do they, the uh... humans. I have to make gifts for b'day week on FG, make lots of them, then do the stupid geog thing, then do whatever shit and fucking socialize. Huh.

Venting's not working. Stupid computer's not allowing me to install things. Cuz no fucking admin privs.

... You know what I'm going to say, right? SCREEEW...

21 June 2010

Notes on Death

So you musta noticed that I've become obsessed with the dead and death and heaven and such lately. Therefore the reason for the theme change. Yayy, more morbid stuff, that is SO, POSITIVELY, FUN, don't you agree?

/EDIT/: Aforementioned theme has been taken off.

Yeah, and by the way, I totally know I sound psycho. That is on purpose, so that you will suddenly feel like going to the toilet. So, this post will then be about the little bitty bits of notes I wrote when I have nothing better to do. This is because doing so will rid my phone of incriminating evidence.

The logic is: I can't get rid of those frigging thoughts, so I shall transfer them to my phone, and when my phone can't take it anymore I shall transfer it to the internet, because the internet is a wondrous thing and can withstand any crap this poor little girl throws at it.

Let the crap commence.

But wait. Let me go on and on about the horrible Death Note ending. About how Light goes unhinged and I couldn't watch it anymore. Because it ended. That's why it sucked. Also because it was D-R-A-M-A the whole thing was D-R-A-M-A. GOD!!!

What, you're gonna go away if I don't give you proof exactly how insane I am? Well, be prepared, mortal, because you're going to find out just how outrageous and random the mind of another mortal is.

Anonymous Day Number One:
Ah, my fellow anime fanatics are SO nice to talk to, especially in the middle of the night.

Anonymous Day Number Two:
I tidy whenever I can't stand the mess anymore.

Anonymous Day Number Three:
I have lost the ability to concentrate on German

Anonymous Day Number Four:
Take note, I was sick with the flu then.
Today was a good day. I got many reviews and favs and alerts on ff.net and nice cheerful reviews on FG. I don't feel that crappy anymore, thought I'm not sure if it'd the medicine or the reviews.

Anonymous Day Number Five:
Words are mysteriously missing.

Anonymous Day Number Six:
Man, lying is addictive.

Anonymous Day Number Seven:
I dump a lot of things to the next morning. Because I don't feel like dealing with that shit.

Anonymous Day Number Eight:
My life is shit.

Anonymous Day Number Nine:
Writing is my drug. I'm fucking addicted. Besides, it is fun to screw with peoples' heads. Even is those 'people' aren't real.

Anonymous Day Number Ten:
Suspended in time, in my own reality - oblivious and blissfully unaware - I wish that was true. Unfortunately, sooner or later we all have to come back to this crappy reality that some shitty idiot created.

Anonymous Day Number Eleven:
Sucks when your parents don't listen.
Lost interest in everything.

Anonymous Day Number Twelve:
Can you get drunk on root beer?
God should go to Hell for negligence.
Heaven would be bland, I imagine.
I think maybe I should go veggie.

Anonymous Day Number Thirteen:
Screw insomnia.

ANNND... that is all. Thirteen is a nice number, no? Okay, now I'll be off to pretend to do some homework. There's always people to copy from - no sweat.

I'll post more idiotic and stupid stuff when my brain and fingers co-operate, then. Bye, whoever you are.

17 June 2010

Gosh, My Mom Loves Me

Well, that was a surprise. Let's see, yesterday, because I let my brother's head hit the floor, she whacked my head six times. Okay. That's pure love, innit? Then today, she bought two things that my brother asked for, and nothing that I asked for (which was two, by the way. Nothing over twenty.)


Gosh, I feel the LOVE.

Fuck this dysfunctional problem. Study hard, and maybe I'll make it out before I start yelling my head off and hallucinating. Who knows, perhaps I might not be labelled as 'mentally insane' if God takes pity. WAIT. GOSH.

There's no god. How the hell do I survive??????

I love sarcasm, by the way. If you haven't picked it up yet. Sarcasm is my best-est fwen.

14 June 2010

The Heaven Paradox

You know what? I can't stand it anymore. I don't get the point of the Bible.


First: why did god make us? Hm? 


Okay, maybe I'm doing this because if there's a hell, I'll be going there, definitely, but a concept like Heaven should just stay like that - a concept. I don't think there should be a heaven. It creates all sort of problems that should be left behind when we die.


What I think human life should be: fleeting, at least in the eyes of eternity. There's just no point in striving for perfection forever, is there? If our lives are short and over in the blink of an eye, we'd actually be motivated to do something. 


Look at it this way. We're here on Earth to...? Supposedly we're here to spread God's word, praise him, and well, basically ... if he wasn't called God, I rather think we'd call him narcissistic. 


This is an answer I found on http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071008070046AAclbqc


I hope you find the best answer to suit you, but listen to people who actually read it and use other than those who condemn - they don't read it and don't know why they use it.


Gosh, I wonder. Why do people always assume those who condemn the bible don't read or understand it? Why would they condemn it if they hadn't read or understood it? I grew up in a family where my dad, mom, and now brother are all Christians. I was a Christian briefly.


Now tell me why I don't believe. It's complicated, to say the least. Atheists would say there's no god, but I think there might be a god. Christians say God is the only god. Well, who says there's only one. Who says that He's the only one either?


Argument: THE FUCKING BIBLE SAYS SO, IDIOT.


Why do you believe the bible? The most important question isn't answered.


PEOPLE, THE BIBLE WAS 


SUPPOSEDLY WRITTEN BY


MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN 


MANY DIFFERENT ERAS. WHO

THE FUCK COMPILED THE 


THING THEN?


Gosh, I really don't know.


Fuck you then. You have no reason to believe the stupid book if you don't even know how it miraculously came about. Maybe it seems like a tiny detail to you, but to non-believers it's huge. 


How the hell did people get the things together? Forget that, HOW THE FUCK DID THEY UNDERSTAND THE WORDS??? Don't you think that maybe those people who wrote the bible wrote it in different languages as well? 


Really.


But let's not go there.


The question today is, why Heaven is stupid.


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080927155107AAveqWC


I know heaven will be all laughs and giggles but when it comes down to it isn't it still pointless? You don't matter, all you'll be is some careless, mindless spirit doomed to aimlessly roam heaven for the rest of eternity.

The thought of such a place is very unsettling to me.



Me too, amigo, whoever you are. I love you. That was exactly what I wanted to say. "Doomed to roam Heaven".


"God mentioned the streets of gold and everything"

Ok, I'd be sick of gold after the first few months... An eternity of that glittery junk would really be torture.



This person's gotta be my twin. 


"I think it has a point because u won't just be roaming around heaven you'll be living life the same way we do today"

No certainly not. Whats the point of working if you don't need money? You can't starve to death or be put out of your house so why get out of bed? If you can't be miserable there will be no pursuit happiness. No one would bother getting out of bed if they could be perfectly happy there for an eternity.



Yes, what will you do then?


This person answered, Scripture says that "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man all of the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." An infinite God will have all kinds of things to interest us. For example, those who are scientists will have an entire new universe to explore and learn about God's creation. Artists will have an entire universe to inspire great works of art. There will be hundreds of millions of people to meet and get to know. And hundreds of millions of angels to meet, as well. ETC. There will be no end to the possibilities. Scripture says we cannot even begin to imagine the things which God has in store for us. I am sure it will not be pointless and become boring.


Scientists can learn about new creations. Okay. Then? With that new knowledge what'd they do? They can't invent things, Heaven is perfect and all they'll ever need is there. No need for more inventions. Neither can you brag about that knowledge, because bragging is baaad, and Heaven is perfect, so baaadness is not allowed.


If you meet new people, chances are they'll be infinitely boring. They're in Heaven, after all, and what's people without a little bit of guilt and sin to make them interesting?

Tell me why you watch dramas or anime, or things of that sort. 



Well, I'll tell YOU. Cuz there's sin, and crying, and drama, and murder. If there isn't then it wouldn't be interesting, if it's not interesting then the tv companies don't make money, therefore, whatever they, the companies, churn up, that has to be what we're interested in.


Wait. But in Heaven... that's right people. Heaven ain't like nothing you've ever seen. It's not even human creation (oh but wait again, I forget that the earth, the entire fucking EARTH, is God's creation). 


We've failed on Earth, no? Pollution, kidnapping, all those shit. What we forget is that heyy... we're God's creations. God's creations failed. Therefore God cannot be perfect, because perfection does not fail. 


Huh. Actually, I dare you. Convince me why God is good, and Heaven is great. If I can argue that with logic, you have failed, and thus God's creation fails again.


The only thing I can't argue is blind faith, but Blind Faith has a sibling, which is called Blind Refusal to Listen, and if I argued with that, we'd go nowhere.


Gosh, look at the earth. God should go to hell for negligence, I'm actually disgusted at the divine being. If he knows what we're going to do before we know it ourselves, then stop those damned murderers


But no, tell me. Solve the Heaven Paradox without using the words 'I don't know' or 'we're not meant to know/understand' or 'you'll know when you're there' (STOP. I have established that I'll go to hell, it's doubtful that I'll even see the Pearly Gates.)


What I want, is for you Christians to tell me why Heaven is not stupid. I'm not against it or anything, I just don't get it. I want to answer the question WHY?

13 June 2010

Iz Back, Yeys

WOAH, I'm back. From shitty China, where in some districts Facebook, Twitter, Wordpress, Animefreak tv, and a whole bunch of great sites are blocked. Yes, dear peoples, I have just been to one of those districts, where the sky is grey, and the only hint of green is on your face as you prepare to puke as you smell the cigarette smoke floating around.

Wow, this has brought on a wave of creativity. Can't believe that, hey, on the bus I was listening to Taylor Swift's Tied Together With A Smile and I IMMEDIATELY associated it with Lelouch.

Lelouch and Taylor Swift. Now there's an unheard of pairing for songfics. So maybe I'll do a songfic then. The thing is, Taylor's songs are always from the girl's point of view. It's a bit typical, but her songs are quite nice to listen to - even though the general idea has been done over heaps of times, the lyrics are new, therefore the lyrics are GREAT for songfics.

And then again, Lelouch must be more feminine than I originally thought, because ... he's a guy, and Taylor Swift is OBVIOUSLY a female, unlike Gaga, who's a bit androgynous, and really doesn't make much sense, but we all love her, yes we do. At least we don't switch the radio station at the first mention of her name.

Okay, now let's compare the differences in the countries: the country where I am now, which I love, and a district in the country where I was born, which I also love, but hate the district, which wasn't where I was born, because China is ridiculously big.

Here the air is clear. Over there in the district you can see the damned dust motes floating in the air.

People almost never honk here, on account of how small and boxed up everyone is. That's cuz they're considerate of waking the sleeping people up. Aw, how sweet. But over there, the honking is apparently for nothing at all. You hear honks everywhere.

Here people drive in their lanes. Gosh, over there it's as if there are NO LANES. Crossing the road is an adventure, and good luck on making it out alive.

Here it's moist and humid. There it's dry and dusty. Guess which I prefer? Warm and humid. The dryness there sticks my lips together in the morning. I canNOT speak, for god's sake. I drink water ALL THE TIME.

Oh, but then again, I've underestimated the unholy allure of China's food. It's kind of, you know, impossible to resist. The chocolates, the sweeties, the candies, the jellies, AND ESPECIALLY THE CANDIED HAW AND CHEWING GUM.

I have been dreaming about the last two items since forEVER. I will KILL to eat them. (Luckily I got to eat them :D)

And so ends this post, because Jacelyn bugged me as soon as I came back. Kudos, Jace. (I still don't like the bible, but anyways. Doesn't matter much. Just sick of people blindly believing e.g. Aileen)

Also cuz I'm kinda supposed to sleep now, didn't get much sleep the previous two nights cos of how both my parents were snoring like hell. Seriously. Parent one: SNORE. Parent two: SNORE SNORE.

I poke parent one, gets parents one to poke parent two. Ten minutes later, both are snoring happily away and my baby brother doesn't seem to notice it at all. (He's not so little now. Four years, a metre plus tall, and twenty-five kg.)

MUST GO! PARENTS INSISTING! BUH-BYE!