Okay first of all I have homework and I don't want to do homework and I have school and I don't want to go to school. But I also have tests and I can't not go for tests so. Tests are in like two weeks. I have not studied. I don't know what I'm going to do I'm having a minor panic attack and I'm freaking out over this every two minutes. But like a quiet little freaking out.
My parents are being dicks for some reason (nah probably cause I'm not studying as much as they wish I would) and all my dad does is nag at me all day long - "do your physics" "have you done your physics" "sighhhh..... how is your physics coming along" and every time he sees me not doing physics (which is a lot because he pops in on me like every two minutes) he'd sigh and stare at me and godfuckingdammit is it that hard to leave me alone (I DO NOT HANDLE BEING SUPERVISED WELL IT MAKES ME STIR-CRAZY AND A LITTLE VIOLENT).
And he chants "exercise" is like a mantra literally whatever I say the answer will be "you're not exercising enough" "because you don't exercise" godfuckingdammit it's like he's purposely ignoring that I have two full hours of exercise every week and that's enough dammit. I'd complain about muscle ache of all fucking things and he'd tell me I'm not exercising enough. OF COURSE MORE EXERCISE WILL SOOTHE MY ACHING MUSCLES.
And my mother stands outside my door staring at me and then after a period of silence she insults me??? Like "you're stupid" or stuff like that and WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR DAUGHTER I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING. It's also very creepy and upsets me.
and third there are events like Natsu Matsuri but that's one week from exams??? Stress. STGCC which is in the middle of exams????? Wat. I just want to curl up somewhere and just NOT. As in i don't want to deal any more someone take the responsibility of not breaking down and going crazy away from me and just let me sleep. (This is not about events this is about everything right now.)
And like I want to read fanfiction but everything is so fucking short and so fucking terrible?? I swear I've trawled through pages upon pages of fanfiction from every fucking fandom and nothing?????? Maybe I've read all the good ones already but ugh please don't spell "definitely" as "defiantly". All this bad writing makes me really stressed and upset and I just want to cry.
There's more and it has something to do with me being female YAY THAT'S RIGHT my body is punishing me for not being pregnant HOW MUCH SENSE DOES IT MAKE??? LIKE NONE, MOTHERFUCKERS. BEING FEMALE ISN'T FAIR. Does your dick bleed constantly for one full week if it failed to impregnate a woman this month? No. Don't talk to me. (Even if your dick has impregnated a woman it doesn't have to carry a goddamn baby for nine months.)
I am so angry and upset and unlike what you may think my general unhappiness does not manifest itself at all except when my parents talk to me (because goddamn WHAT DO YOU WANT. I AM DOING SOMETHING. SEE? SEEEEE??????? Do not disturb me every two minutes because it makes me very very irritable and stressed and I will get angry at you JUST DON'T DISTURB ME EVERY TWO MINUTES WHEN I'VE MADE IT CLEAR I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU???? Basic human courtesy sayonara I will mourn your death.)
But generally speaking I am upset for a non-specific and very stupid reason. The reason being that people on this planet are stupid and embarrassing. I seriously get upset over the existence of stupid people who can't use logic (by stupid people I mean people who claim a pineapple is proof of god). I mean, you have a brain. What's stopping you from using it?
I am very upset over this and I also understand that to some people I may seem very stupid and in that case they have every right to despise me but they should also probably try to make me see the light. (I have tried to make people see the light but mostly fail because they seem not to have ears, and their vocabulary consist of only inaccurate insults.)
I am also upset because I overthink and that stresses me out and makes me very tired.
(Who the fuck came up with the idea of unfollowing Misha for his birthday because that's fucking stupid and now I have to deal with posts about "I'm not gonna do it" like jfc OF COURSE you're not going to do that because that is a dick thing to do to anyone, also why the fuck would you feel the need to make ten thousand posts about that because anyone who actually does unfollow him is an idiot and should be cut off from your life or at least gently scolded.)
I mean please just don't do stupid things.
I might not look like I have stress issues but I really do. Lately the jaw-clenching thing has gotten really bad and also I wake up at random times during the night and can't sleep properly and just generally get anxious in the mornings.
Exams are not good for anyone's health.
