ever since i quit my job it's been heaven all the way. not that im unstressed but i just feel so good. all day every day. i feel good about myself, my life, im excited about things im going to do.
of course i'd like to lose weight and earn more money but those are like, universal goals. i don't worry too much about these two because
1, i know exactly what i need to do to lose weight, i just want to eat too much to do any of that, also i'm not like really unhealthy so i can always do that when i have more self-control/need more control over my life.
2, im not literally BROKE broke, i'm just at the point where i shouldn't be spending money frivoulously (but i do anyway). anyway i have a stable income of 240/month more or less, and with my allowance (which starts when uni starts), it's pretty much not a worry. i mean, i can always work more. spend less (and i spend A LOT). i feel ok about my finances.
anyway you can probably tell that my good vibes are causing me to be lazy, unmotivated, and also bored. it's actually literally eroding my self-control. eat? why not. watch a season a day? why not. watch 4 performances in japan and spend over a thousand on tickets? why not.
hey, i'm already spending 440 on my plane tickets, i want to make it worth my while, and all the concerts overlap. the universe is telling me to go. and i enjoy them and they make me happy and i just want more good things in my life and i think i might be losing touch with what money actually means.
regardless.
i'm stressed over the itty bitty bits like getting cheaper concert tickets, planning my itinerary, the exchange rate, uni stuff like those million admin things with a million different deadlines, whatever. those are day to day worries.
you get what i mean, right? i just feel so good about my life and future right now. this is the best i've ever felt. i can do whatever i want, whenever i want.
plus my parents have never really gotten the hang of being actual parents, like whenever they were strict they were more like adhering to their IDEA of what a parent should do, so if i push and argue a bit they're just like, "well, ok, since it's not dangerous or expensive".
they don't really have their own boundaries. and now that i'm legal, spending my own money, out of high school, with good prospects, they've run out of things to bother me about.
also i've never consulted them about any important decisions like... actually, ever. seriously. i make good decisions so mostly i just inform (not consult!) them or ask them to pay or sign and stuff. i just dye my hair, stay out late, travel to other countries, and they don't really feel there's anything problematic with that. they might not like it, they might be concerned or have misgivings, but they're not about to tell me to cancel my trip or ground me or anything.
anyway, what i meant was that my parents are being pretty awesome right now, and they've always been pretty chill in general (not all the time, but generally) so i dont feel any need to act out or anything to prove that i'm an adult. i already feel adult. i do literally everything by myself (except when i had to ask my dad for his bank details to pay my uni fees) (and except for the part where i live in my parents' house). i'm almost an independent (!) wow. i said almost.
tl;dr: life is awesome?! i AM an adult and i dont need to prove it
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