sakura photos 2020

samsung s10+ & nikon d600? 24-70 f2.8

creative fiction class, early 2018

prose (A-) and poetry (A) i submitted for my creative writing module

prose is just an edited version of this post because i couldn't be bothered. the poetry was basically written in bits on my phone during the class itself (sent it to myself via telegram) then edited. hz9101 was one of the easiest mods ive ever taken and it's totally worth it for the free A

2020

some things that i have been thinking about:

• how i hate my mom
• how my parents are pretty terrible parents
• admitting to myself that i have self-esteem and intimacy issues
• how i have a HUGE procrastination issue, which according to experts is because i'm afraid of failure, which... is just true
• how i mf hate everything on this earth sometimes
• how a load of money would make me feel instantly more secure and less sad and crabby towards the world in general. 

to be honest there hasn't been a lot of positive things happening lately. i mean, most things in my life are on track, but things being on track doesn't exactly inspire a lot of happiness in me. 

for now i gotta write my damn essays, so i can spend some time crying for stress relief. then after i manage to graduate, take a month-long vacation or something and write a little bit. maybe progress as a person a bit. but, you know, academics first. 

god i hate how this world works.

post from early in 2019

so im back again, thinking about just jumping off the tall building that i conveniently live in.

-- jonghyun

i wrote this 6 months after jonghyun left. it's been over a year now and i don't feel any different. i don't think i'll ever feel different.