I was always a late bloomer, you see. I didn't discover music until I was twelve. I didn't know what the fuck was this 'youtube' until I was twelve. I didn't even understand how gay sex worked until I turned twelve.
Basically, my life started when I turned twelve and lost whatever innocence I might have once had.
It wasn't exactly a good thing.
Now I'm a little addicted to telling everyone around me that they're absolutely wrong, and then, armed with my completely inappropriate-for-my-age-group knowledge of things that occur at night and/or behind locked doors and/or on beds, inform them pompously that I'm correct, and then elaborate - too much - on why I'm correct.
...It's a really bad habit.
Ever heard of this meme on the internet, where it goes something like, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking?
Fuck yes, it applies to me. To others too, obviously, like, obviously, but no one seems ready to believe that a little girl could be as mean as... as... well, me. I always make snide remarks about how everything isn't as awesome as it could be if only they went according to my weird little rules and everything. About how they're not up to par, how they all suck...
I like elaboration, perhaps a bit too much - hell yes I like it a lot too much - so with every little comment that I make, I elaborate. Like... oh great, now that I need to be sarcastic and mean, I have nothing to make fun of. Just great.
Anyway, the December of the year I turned twelve, I caught up with ... with ... the world in general. I became a zombie who was hooked onto the internet. I needed my internet-hours, goddammit, and I will have it. Somehow.
Contrary to popular belief, my exposure to the sparkly-rainbows-and-unicorns-internet-shit-everything didn't come with horrified gasps or scandalized expressions... no, nothing like that. It was pretty anti-climatic.
I found anime then, you see, D.Gray-Man, to be exact, and that led me to BL, then yaoi, and then the rest of the horny and sexually frustrated internet.
My first ship was Kanda/Allen - Yullen. Then Laven.
And then, very very quickly, my mind was thrown from its clean little apartment into the gutter - where it's residing happily now, thank you very much.
(Those yaoi pictures were welcomed with an ooohhh, and a right click and a save image as.)
Because you can't really share the same world as delusional fangirls without corrupting yourself. Oh and by the way, if you're still innocent, I suspect that this post has just eaten away a tiny bit more of that precious innocence oh god what am I doing? It's fun to corrupt people and all, but but but yeah, I'm too self-centred to do that LOL.
LOL.
So, a summary: life before twelve was a sunny little meadow with ponies.
Cue December that year: pony sex.
I think that gives an accurate analogy of how far I fell in one short month. (Also, I learned that there is porn everywhere. Everyeveryeveryeverywhere. EVERY FUCKING WHERE. I'm not even shocked by it now. Like, oh, pr0n. Okay.)
I've come to realize now that the internet is really just a bunch (albeit a really goddamn fucking huge bunch) of deprived people who find amusement in fucking with other people. I like that.
No, I really like that. There's something very satisfying about watching someone getting verbally abused over the internet, or getting trolled on by someone, or being flamed by someone... endless possibilities, people, endless.
Too many clever people, too many stupid people, too many very bored people. Add technology, you have the internet.
Oh, the thing about 'being from the internet'? Very... general term, but I believe I've figured out some rules about that.
1. If you're from the internet, you're from the internet.
2. Anyone who is not from the internet is not worthy. The end.
3. Having a computer and a browser and internet access does not equal 'from the internet'.
4. If you try too hard to be 'from the internet', you will fail. Very painfully.
5. There are qualifications. You will be informed of them via criticism about how you're not qualified.
6. If you are in possession of a 'conscience', you most certainly are not from the internet.
7. You are not from the internet.
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