a rather tedious holiday

A post-holiday report. I think. Well, whatever. I just really needed to bitch.

Thailand, Phuket. This place is full of flies and it fucking disgusts me (the flies, not the country). No matter which way you look at it, I am not a nature person. My idea of nature is something along the lines of a well-maintained clearing with pretty flowers and a cool breeze. Along with lightning-fast internet connection.

By the fourth day I realised that I was in a tour group with racists and idiots. And that my parents were apparently friends with those idiots, and are also included in the group of aforementioned idiots. (They're church friends. Yes. Keep in mind that they're moderate-liberal Methodists who are well-educated.)

God, they're all ridiculous. Disregarding culture, history, and context, they labelled India lawless and hopeless and all rapists. One of the male, beer-guzzling, shit-spouting friends said that he would bomb India and annihilate it if he could. I wanted to make a scathing, cutting remark about how tiny his prehistoric brain was, but took into account other factors such as the remaining two days that I would have to spend with him. I would rather not come across as unpleasant and uneducated, but apparently he has no such qualms. He also hit on a twenty-one years old girl that I'll mention later.

His wife is a vapid, shallow woman who is forty to fifty years old. She's passably pretty, but does not realise that her head appears to be completely empty of all considerations except being pretty, acting young, and pretending to be cool. "Ooo, I want to get a tattoo!" - upon seeing someone get tattooed in a shop. "I don't think you should get a tattoo here because the needles might not be sterilised and then bad things happen." - everyone else along with Common Sense.

They have one child who's like nine. She's nice but has no sense of simplicity or style. An okay kid.

And there's another woman, who's also nearing fifty. Nothing much to say about her, except vaguely annoying in some vaguely indiscernible manner. Not one for respecting personal space.

She has two daughters. One who's twenty-one, quite pretty, with awesome fashion sense. She's kind of a hipster and brought along a canon camera... And didn't do much with it. She seems nice. She's in a polytechnic I think. Tends to get disgustingly cutesy-whiny when trying to bargain. She feels kind of off, though, and is also vaguely irritating in an unknown manner.

The second daughter is thirteen, and is a little bitch who is incapable of respecting personal boundaries, being polite, or obeying social norms. She's the kind of girl who demands that you - her hypothetical friend - buys her sweets with your money because she wants sweets. She has no idea how proper friendship works and will demand five sweets in return for giving you two. She's the kind of girl who will snatch your iPad away and use it whenever she wants, even though she has her own iPad and you clearly want to use your iPad yourself. She's cute but pretentious. Doesn't have much fashion style - kiddy shirt with lacy pants?????!!! A brat. Scrupulously petty... And I... Am sharing a room with her.

And then there's my dad, who willingly pays for extortion... Like a third-rate video of him and my brother on the go-kart track which goes for 800 bahts apparently but was cut down to 500 and then quickly cut down to 300 which is not cheap by any means. Because it's a shitty CD. Not even ten minutes. He's lost his brain just because they put a couple more zeros behind the number. We don't have money to spare. He has two children who needs to go to university and he's lost his fucking brain and is puking money everywhere. He also likes taking pictures of people even when they make it clear that the last thing they want to do is to take a picture and that taking a picture of them will make them really irritated and angry. Read: me. (Okay, sorry, the last part was just because he's a doting daddy. Without much common sense sometimes. The last part about pictures was just me griping needlessly.)

My mother has started speaking in a high, giggly voice that is utterly ridiculous and stupid. It's fake and nauseating, and she doesn't notice anything. If she had a brain, it would shrivel and commit suicide each time she opened her mouth. Is there anyone here who doesn't find meaningless high-pitched giggly laughter irritating as fuck? Get the fuck off my blog. If you're trying to fake laughter then try a bit harder. That kind of giggly stupid high-school girly laughter will get you a slap from me IRL.

So there's also my brother, who throws tantrums for simple things and refuses to eat just because and ends up having to eat instant ramen in his room at night. He's also seven years old. Which means that my parents have to suffer along with him, and by default I have to suffer as well. In fact he ruined many days and spoiled many things and made my dad pay a lot of compensation money.

This is a ridiculous holiday and they are all ridiculous messy and unorganized and the sun really actually burns. (Sorry, I'm kind of OCD sometimes. Messy, unorganized things gives me headaches. I have to physically stop myself from reaching out and rearranging other people's belongings.)

You think I'm exaggerating the unpleasantness of them. You're wrong. I always thought that only television shows were this dramatic and stereotypical, but stereotypes have to come from somewhere. In fact, I have a series of perfect templates for unlikable characters now. My characterization is going to shoot off the chart in terms of realism.

I'm never going on holiday with such unthinking people again. They couldn't even find the luggage belt when they arrived. This is like a competition to see who can be the most brainless person.

Next time I'm going overseas, I'm going with friends. Friends are the family that you choose, right? If a bitch stabs you, you can cut her out of your chosen family. If your mother stabs you she's still your goddamn mother. You also share a lot more interests and viewpoints with your friends. Holidays are meant to be enjoyable. Go with friends. Family trips just make you tired when you're the eldest daughter.

P.S. Phuket tips - if you're planning on going:

If you're going to Phuket, being a ton of strong sunblock or prepare to turn purple. I'm not kidding. Also bring a bit of insect repellent. Wear slippers. Apply sunblock on feet - I AM NOT KIDDING.

APPLY SUNBLOCK EVERYWHERE.

There are lots of family marts and seven-elevens around, so if you can't get used to the food, you won't starve. The food in those shops are pretty cheap, comparatively.

...um... When you take taxis, people sometimes try to cheat you of money, so keep in mind that for a party of around five, for a two to five (or ten??) minute ride, it's about 200 bahts. Also ALWAYS bargain with shop people, the prices are usually exorbitantly high because there are (probably) more tourists than locals there.

Oh and if you go the the beach, the seats cost money. Like, 100 bahts, more or less.

Anyway everything costs money, and everything is over-commercialized.

ALSO SUNBLOCK. Seriously. Especially your shoulders. The sun there is brutal, and I thought I lived in a place with serious sun. Two hours in the sun makes you red. Any more and your skin starts peeling. Actually, the skin on my shoulders is peeling a bit, and I hardly even did anything in the sun. I'm also two shades darker. And a shade redder.

...um... I'm kind of tired, I didn't sleep until two or three in the morning for the entire week.