i came out of kpop retirement

jimin dragged me down the bts pit and out of kpop retirement





my kpop story is that in 2010 i found shinee and fell for taemin hard. then b1a4 debuted and i knew they were going to be da shit and they are. they're fucking golden. i liked boyfriend but mainly just bc minwoo and jeongmin. i retired in like 2012, which means i retired back when teen top was still super relevant (im so sry, i love teen top a lot too but tbh.)

so recently b1a4 AND shinee came back, so i decided to check out the newer groups (plus twice is cute idek) and BAM

i watched the blood sweat and tears mv and at the beginning when jimin does the move (you know, The Move) where he jerks his head back and covers his eyes and spreads his legs at the same time oh god idek how to describe it but really. i just stopped breathing and i was like, FUCK, i'm so into this.

it literally took me 0.001 seconds to fall into the bts pit. all because of park jimin. im so fucking whipped i cant believe he dragged me out of retirement just like that.

anyway now i have a lot of feelings about bts and seriously just a lot of feelings in general so

army is one of the most talented fandoms out there and i s2g the fics are Good Quality and they make me wanna write shit too

also i cry when i hear jimin sing or suga rap, so

like i really legit cry real tears and sob so fcking hard at suga's lyrics

yeah so this happened:

And when the applause dies down and the seats empty, he feels it creep up on him again. He’s mocking himself, laughing at himself again. He feels coldness spreading from deep inside, making him feel so small.

Just as the fans are leaving their seats, he wonders if one day they’ll leave him. Without a backwards glance, the litter on the floor the only proof that there was once a huge, breathing, cheering crowd moving as one. The people and the venue, it’s a cruel, cruel metaphor for the people who profess to love him forever and his tiny self.

He simultaneously feels big and small, young and old, loved and betrayed. It’s a funny feeling, remembering how the fans got to their knees and worshipped him, and at the same time knowing that he’s just another measly human, so insignificant on the expanse of the stage. It’s so odd, feeling the warmth of their love suffuse him and resenting them for leaving him, as he knows they must, eventually. He feels somewhere in between a god and a human, and it’s surprisingly painful.

It’s enough if he could just take all the goodness and hold it in his hands, have the high without the low

and i literally ended it in the middle of a sentence i think

bc i was crying when i wrote this, i think, i cant really remember. it's been so long since i actually wrote anything so i thought i should just, yknow, do something

maybe i'll write more