adult life//ONE OK ROCK

in 2016 i've been working five days a week, at the boring dental clinic receptionist job. it's honestly so mind-numbing.

on the days that i don't work, i meet up with friends and most likely end up drinking. that's where my money all goes. well, and on merch, of course.

i don't really know what's so different between this and school, but there's a distinction that makes me feel like i am finally a person now, not just another ... student. it feels like an indictment of the education system, but there's something about being a student that makes me less of me and more of one of the masses. i feel free in a way i've never felt before. it's a small freedom, but it's strange. to be ..  a full person.

i feel like ... okay, like i stepped out of the pool and am standing by the side, drying in the cool air. like you know there are currents in the pool? when people move and the water sways you around. with enough effort you can move around, but you don't really get anywhere. so i feel like i've stepped outside for a little while, and you know when you can feel the bits of water drying up? a bit sobering and calming. my limbs feel heavy and unused to the air. i like it, i think.

anyway, i'm excited about finally getting to do things i want and be in more in charge of my life. it always struck me as unfair and ridiculous - and ridiculously unfair - that society essentially forces your life to go a certain way for most of your childhood. not sure if that's much of a childhood with society encroaching on it tbh.

so on saturday i went for one ok rock. i missed them so much and it was just great, of course.

ended up being really close to the stage, actually. it was an oor live, what can i say. i don't want to touch the experience with words. 

afterwards i went to eat a little with mike and tam. phoebe and kai had to go off. and then mike went off and tam and i went drinking. ended up getting home at 3am after taking an uber cab. the driver was a bit apprehensive picking up people at the club/bar area at 3am (am i can see why, after yesterday. there were puddles of puke on the floor and one guy passed out on the fucking road) but he was pleasantly surprised to see me sober and polite. haha. 

i dunno, sometimes i just intensely feel like i'm living life. not that it's anything cool or exciting, or noteworthy, but the fact that i'm living life is pretty surprising and awesome sometimes.