something angry written some time ago

The tone in which I say something should not invalidate the content of what I say.

A day or two ago my brother hit the back of my head. He did have reasons - not that it was sufficient for him to hit me, though. My parents scolded me for yelling at him. They told me to calm down and keep quiet (shut up) while they talked to him gently. They screamed back at me when I got angry at that, while my brother stood around getting not scolded at all.

Fine. Okay. I was so fucking done. I told my father that my brother had to have some long term punishment so he'd remember what he did was wrong. I said he shouldn't be allowed to use the iPad for a week.

Maybe it wasn't the most appropriate punishment, but my father didn't even do the barest minimum. He told my brother that he wouldn't be able to use the iPad the next day until noon. And when my brother demanded that I be held to the same standards my father was kind of "ummmm uhhhh okay", which he didn't really mean. 

The next day my brother kicked up a huge fucking fuss about the "no iPad" thing, and demanded for me to not use my iPad either. My father hemmed and hawed and never even told my brother why he was being punished - or the fact that he was actually being punished. In the end my father caved and told me to keep my iPad, which sends really terrible messages to my kid brother: 

1: If I hit people I basically get a scolding and nothing else

2: If I whine enough I get my way

3: It's okay to hit people????!?!??

And today my brother hit my lower back. Again, he did have some reasons. Again, totally not enough for him to hit me. When my mother came back home, she scolded me for yelling. She told my brother to pack his schoolbag and brush his teeth.

And when I got angry at her for doing a total of nothing about this issue, she said that she's my mother, she feels my pain. She said that it can't be done in a day. She said that if I watch how I speak to my brother, then it might be better.

1: Fuck you. I'm the one getting hit with all the strength and centrifugal force of a muscular, slightly overweight eight year-old who people think looks eleven. Don't give me that bullshit. It doesn't help deal with the issue, it doesn't make me feel better.

2: Of course my brother can't be made non-violent in a single day. Which is exactly fucking why I've been trying to get you to do something about it for eight years. Don't fuck with me. Don't give me fucking platitudes while you continue to sit on your fucking arse and do nothing.

3: Should my brother be learning not to be violent? Or should I be learning how to make myself softer so that people won't hit me? Maybe both. But I hold that I should stand my ground, be angry when I am - and when some bastard hits me, hit him back with all my strength. At least then I'll know he's a bastard and stay the fuck away from him or maybe report him to the police, instead of, you know, working my way around this dickbag and strangling my own life and personality.

She wouldn't talk about the issue. She kept offering useless fucking consolations and not scolding my brother for hitting me. She told him to brush his teeth, pack his bag, pick up his pencilcase - at that point he was literally right beside us and there was nothing easier than bringing it up and scolding him right then and there - and basically she showed not the least intention to scold him or punish him in any way.

She kept telling me to sound nicer when talking to people, though. Hm. Very important. I was so disgusted that I had to walk away. My brother had been hitting me for a long time, and no one wants to do anything about it. I can't be angry? I can't? How fucking dare you.

Listen: [the tone in which I say anything] in no way invalidates [the content of what I'm saying].

I put it in brackets and bolded it so people can clearly see the non-relationship between those two things.

If anyone believes otherwise, they are clearly not worth your time. Maybe sounding nicer might persuade more people, maybe sounding more demure might get you a little raise, but the fact remains that the tone does not invalidate the content. 

Would you talk gently to someone who physically assaults you? Or would you be so angry that it'd be hard to hold yourself back from hurling insults and giving him a good few slaps? Would you be expected to be nice to someone who hurts you? Or would you be expected to be angry? 

Not saying that my brother assaulted me or anything. But the fact that he resorts to violence casually is extremely worrying. And my parents won't do anything about it. They scold me for raising my voice instead. 

Please learn something from this post. You need to deal with the real fucking issue, not some minor symptom that arises from the issue.