well i've been busy

i've been busy studying and not studying for exams. and having said exams.

i feel like a wreck, my eyes hurt, i feel faint and dizzy, etc, so on and so forth, i hate my life, and things to that extent.

anyway, i switched off the autocorrect and autocapitalisation, which is why nothing is capitalised.

today i read this article about this 8th grade girl's overwhelming homework, and i was like, "i'm in 11th grade. i don't even do any homework. also i'm in asia." clearly something has gone wrong with the world.

reading the article, i realised that it's true - there's pretty much no coordination between teachers. they give whatever homework they have to, and almost never consider that students don't only take that one subject. 

but it's also about time managament and efficiency. i have seen two different students do the same amount of work in two hours or two weeks. it's about doing your reading in between classes, doing homework in class, and not being inflexible about things.

flexibility is a fine thing to have. it saves you a lot of time and stress.

that said, the school system still wears people down. think the slow erosion of a hill to flat ground.

i feel like a complete wreck right now and i didn't even do a quarter of the things that everyone else did. i didn't stay up until three to revise for the test on the next day. i didn't stay up until two and then wake up at four just to study more. i didn't start studying two months before the start of exams.

i'm just wrecked. people here literally develop physical problems because of the stress. i started clenching my jaw last year around exam time, and i'm still doing it. it's turning into grinding now. i sometimes cannot sleep because of my jaw. i also get sick from nothing more than the stress. like flu, fever, cough - i was sick during almost every exam.

multiple people independently developed headaches. it's not like someone saying "god i have this killer headache" and everyone else nodding in agreement, it's multiple people saying "my head fucking hurts" and those people don't even know each other or that other people are getting headaches.

many other people feel faint and dizzy. their eyes have acquired this blank, dead look. everything sounds sarcastic because no one can muster up enough energy for appropriate emotions.

sometimes i think that this whole system is fucked up because of a lack of organisation and communication, and because of inflexible stupid people doing unnecessary things to complicate everyone elses's lives.

well. that's it i suppose. 

i have to go and sleep early tonight, i woke up at four last night for no reason at all except stress.