I like animated things. Sometimes (often) they're a lot wittier than normal movies, simply because animation isn't limited to what's feasible (within the budget). I love How to Train Your Dragon. The Rise of the Guardians is awesome too.
I did NOT love Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. In fact, I was mildly irritated by the movie, and then I started fuming because that movie just makes me angry.
So basically, we see this really intelligent kid who invents awesome things but doesn't always think it through completely. And then everyone starts laughing at him. His mom is the only one who believes in him but then she dies. And then he grows up and then his dad is always disappointed with him and he's basically the local freak.
So after a string of failed inventions, he invents this machine to turn water into food. (The city somehow only eats sardine or something, I never figured it out.) Okay, and then an accident happens, the machine is launched into the sky (and it never falls back down, despite not being built to fly) and then it starts raining food, ha ha ha.
A sexy female weather woman is sent over, and to impress her, the protagonist builds this thing to communicate with the machine and tell it what food to make. Blah blah blah the sexy female is actually really intelligent too, but stopped tying her hair up with scrunchies and wearing her spectacles because she was bullied for 'not being attractive'??
So then the machine starts mutating and the food starts getting weird and basically turns into a global disaster and now he has to stop it. Yay. Sexy female reports back to the news station but the stupid idiot disses her for looking like a nerd and just cuts her off. Male protagonist writes a 'kill code' by waving his spindly arms around. Flies up, loses kill code, calls dad to send kill code to phone...
...yes but his dad apparently doesn't know how to use any kind of technology. Very realistic, but let's move on. Weird shit happens up in the sky, dad mistakenly sends dancing cat file instead, male protagonist saves the day with old failed invention, yay.
What makes me angry is that the male protagonist is portrayed as a freak...code is portrayed as 'arm-waving magic stuff'...designing and building is portrayed as 'more arm-waving magic stuff'...and the male protagonist has a spaceship thing in his backyard! Which is apparently his lab. Ha ha ha.
This movie tried to mix lame with hilarious, but failed so badly that I can't even begin to tell you how bad it failed. I am unamused. This movie is so over stereotyped that I just want to barf all over it.
First, this movie is for kids. And you show impressionable kids that "bullying is okay, the victim is tots okay after that". And you tell kids that nerdy geeky people are freaks. Yes good one there. Very good moral education you've attempted.
And then the sexy female sidekick. I didn't know you had to tie your hair in scrunchies and wear spectacles to be an intelligent female. Actually, neither did the kids, but now they do! Nice job. /rolls eyes. The amount of stereotyping here is making me nauseous, and I'm not exaggerating. Throughout the movie I just wanted to punch the screen, and only held back because I paid a lot of money for this fragile iPad.
Scrunchies and spectacles does not make someone clever, and long blonde hair does not mean someone is stupid.
Also, we have a magic policeman in the movie, who alternatively abuses the citizens and dotes on his little boy. Also he can magic jump like a monkey. Yay for realism. Oh, did I mention that he's black? Or something. He was busy abusing the protagonist. Stereotyping. I have this urge to slap my forehead with my palm. Loudly.
Oh, and the dude at the station who disses the sexy female because she wasn't attractive enough? He's a douche and he never gets that karma back. Nope, no retribution for the rich white sexist man. Kids will learn so much from this movie.
Also, the sexy female could have just pulled off the scrunchies and spectacles. It takes like one fucking hand to do that. The point is to tell everyone about the impending disaster, surely she can sacrifice a bit of her intelligent girl pride. I mean, what's more important, remaining true to yourself or saving the world? Oh, or maybe the directors could've just NOT made a doouchebag anchorman.
God, by this point I'm so frustrated that I don't even want to think about this movie any more. There's nothing realistic about anything in this movie. No realistic reactions, even, and that's like the easiest part. Want a realistic reaction to getting hit in the face? Hit someone in the face and watch their reaction. Duh.
The entire movie feels like some tired people got together and made a movie all about stereotypes. I'm picturing a forty year old man drinking coffee and saying "I think she needs to be blonder". Yeah, kids might like it, but they learn nothing good from it. And basically no one else can enjoy such bad, unenergetic animation.
As I watched the movie, I became more and more sleepy. I could feel the creativity bleeding away. I could predict exactly what was going to happen. The characters are supposed to be intelligent but can't see solutions right in front of them.
Basically I learned that stupid people make stupid movies, and then other stupid people think that the stupid movie is great and it ends up being branded as an awesome movie because everyone is stupid.
I'm depressed and I have no faith left for the universe. Kill me now, before someone makes me watch another movies as stupid as this. I think I might be a masochist. I hate myself. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is a shitty movie and I hate the world.
12 February 2013
7 February 2013
this is a story about what Christianity can do to an educated person
Listen carefully, everyone.
My family is Christian. That is, my father and my mother and my seven year-old brother are Christians. My father has a Ph.D, and works as an engineer. His maths skills are incredible.
One day, I heard my brother being scolded by my father. I suppose he lashed out violently (again) or something. Apparently, he hit my mother. Or threw something.
My father insisted that he had to apologize. Yeah. I agree. If you hit someone, you either apologize or apologize, or be a stupid and violent little arse. I mean, if you hit someone because you were angry about not getting your way... Which is what my brother did.
So my brother was wailing and screaming and shouting that NO he wasn't ever going to fucking apologize. NO.
Okay so everyone should listen carefully. Or read carefully, whatever.
My father told him that he could apologize to god instead.
...
...
Don't get it?
It means that my brother gets to be a complete arse while thinking that he's resolved of his 'sins'. It means that my brother doesn't get to learn what proper manners is. It means that my brother doesn't have to face up to his actions. It means that my brother DOESN'T LEARN HOW TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
And you know why? Because my bloody CHRISTIAN father decided that 'god' was a good enough substitute for the victim.
Oh, yes, sure. I'll make sure to become a Christian before I kill anyone, because then I can be resolved of all my sins! If I pray and apologize to 'god', then it's the same as apologizing to my dear dead victim, isn't it??
Here are two things that are pretty obvious from this story.
First: anyone who claims that god will erase your sins if you pray is just a coward and looking to save his own skin (well, he thinks he's saving himself). If your victim, or your victim's family if your victim is dead, doesn't forgive you, then you're still a sinner. And even if they forgive you, you're still a sinner.
Not that I'm preaching. I don't care if you're a sinner. But the point is, don't go around deluding yourself and dismissing everyone else's feelings.
What would the parents of the dead children from the Sandy Hook shooting feel, if the murderer 'converted' to Christianity and went around proclaiming that he's a clean man? He thinks god has erased his sins, but the children are still dead, and he's still a murderer.
So you can believe in Jesus and help out gays, lesbians, and homeless abandoned animals. But don't be an asshole and say that Jesus forgives everything. Yeah, Jesus forgives everything, but that little kid you bullied back at high school hasn't forgiven you. Are you going to dismiss his opinion? Because then you might as well just go to your Christ right now. You aren't doing this world a favour.
Second: Christians teach weird fucking shit to their vulnerable children. Even if you don't tell your child that "all is forgiven because of Christ"
(By that way, that's called teaching them how NOT TO BEAR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS.)
You're still telling your children to pray to a dude who crucified himself to save the world, when he could have just prayed to his daddy and asked him to erase all sins, forever.
Crucifixion is too fucking bloody for most children under ten. I didn't feel okay for years after I found out that Jesus had nails poked through his hands and feet. (That was when I was seven.)
And then a few years later I found out that crucified people die of asphyxiation. Apparently your hands aren't made for holding up your body weight, so you sink lower and lower until you can't breathe, and then you die.
This is not good for mental health. Praying to this person is not good for mental health. If god couldn't or didn't care enough to spare his own son the agony, then what makes you think he cares about you?
...
...
So this whole Christianity deal is fucked up. The only kind of Christians I can accept are the ones who don't use the bible as a shield for their sexism, anti-choice stance, anti-LGBTQ stance, or anything at all. And they also shouldn't "leave it up to god". But then they shouldn't be called Christians. They should just be called very responsible people who happen to be theists.
Basically the only thing in the bible that is clear and makes sense is "god helps those who help themselves". It's basically a confidence booster to theists, and a message that they should get off their sorry arses, stop praying, and DO SOMETHING.
I mean, if you care enough to ask your god to change his divine plan, then you care enough to do something to help, right?
I care, but not enough run off to Africa right now, because first I can't and second I can't do anything to help anyway. But I do donate.
If you pray and don't even donate, then you are a very bad person. A very bad person!!! You're not even as good as a morally lacking sixteen year-old who doesn't even care that much.
...
...
Telling your child that god forgives his sins even though his victims doesn't forgive him is called BAD PARENTING. And you are basically ruining his moral compass.
My family is Christian. That is, my father and my mother and my seven year-old brother are Christians. My father has a Ph.D, and works as an engineer. His maths skills are incredible.
One day, I heard my brother being scolded by my father. I suppose he lashed out violently (again) or something. Apparently, he hit my mother. Or threw something.
My father insisted that he had to apologize. Yeah. I agree. If you hit someone, you either apologize or apologize, or be a stupid and violent little arse. I mean, if you hit someone because you were angry about not getting your way... Which is what my brother did.
So my brother was wailing and screaming and shouting that NO he wasn't ever going to fucking apologize. NO.
Okay so everyone should listen carefully. Or read carefully, whatever.
My father told him that he could apologize to god instead.
...
...
Don't get it?
It means that my brother gets to be a complete arse while thinking that he's resolved of his 'sins'. It means that my brother doesn't get to learn what proper manners is. It means that my brother doesn't have to face up to his actions. It means that my brother DOESN'T LEARN HOW TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
And you know why? Because my bloody CHRISTIAN father decided that 'god' was a good enough substitute for the victim.
Oh, yes, sure. I'll make sure to become a Christian before I kill anyone, because then I can be resolved of all my sins! If I pray and apologize to 'god', then it's the same as apologizing to my dear dead victim, isn't it??
Here are two things that are pretty obvious from this story.
First: anyone who claims that god will erase your sins if you pray is just a coward and looking to save his own skin (well, he thinks he's saving himself). If your victim, or your victim's family if your victim is dead, doesn't forgive you, then you're still a sinner. And even if they forgive you, you're still a sinner.
Not that I'm preaching. I don't care if you're a sinner. But the point is, don't go around deluding yourself and dismissing everyone else's feelings.
What would the parents of the dead children from the Sandy Hook shooting feel, if the murderer 'converted' to Christianity and went around proclaiming that he's a clean man? He thinks god has erased his sins, but the children are still dead, and he's still a murderer.
So you can believe in Jesus and help out gays, lesbians, and homeless abandoned animals. But don't be an asshole and say that Jesus forgives everything. Yeah, Jesus forgives everything, but that little kid you bullied back at high school hasn't forgiven you. Are you going to dismiss his opinion? Because then you might as well just go to your Christ right now. You aren't doing this world a favour.
Second: Christians teach weird fucking shit to their vulnerable children. Even if you don't tell your child that "all is forgiven because of Christ"
(By that way, that's called teaching them how NOT TO BEAR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS.)
You're still telling your children to pray to a dude who crucified himself to save the world, when he could have just prayed to his daddy and asked him to erase all sins, forever.
Crucifixion is too fucking bloody for most children under ten. I didn't feel okay for years after I found out that Jesus had nails poked through his hands and feet. (That was when I was seven.)
And then a few years later I found out that crucified people die of asphyxiation. Apparently your hands aren't made for holding up your body weight, so you sink lower and lower until you can't breathe, and then you die.
This is not good for mental health. Praying to this person is not good for mental health. If god couldn't or didn't care enough to spare his own son the agony, then what makes you think he cares about you?
...
...
So this whole Christianity deal is fucked up. The only kind of Christians I can accept are the ones who don't use the bible as a shield for their sexism, anti-choice stance, anti-LGBTQ stance, or anything at all. And they also shouldn't "leave it up to god". But then they shouldn't be called Christians. They should just be called very responsible people who happen to be theists.
Basically the only thing in the bible that is clear and makes sense is "god helps those who help themselves". It's basically a confidence booster to theists, and a message that they should get off their sorry arses, stop praying, and DO SOMETHING.
I mean, if you care enough to ask your god to change his divine plan, then you care enough to do something to help, right?
I care, but not enough run off to Africa right now, because first I can't and second I can't do anything to help anyway. But I do donate.
If you pray and don't even donate, then you are a very bad person. A very bad person!!! You're not even as good as a morally lacking sixteen year-old who doesn't even care that much.
...
...
Telling your child that god forgives his sins even though his victims doesn't forgive him is called BAD PARENTING. And you are basically ruining his moral compass.
1 February 2013
like, past posts with pathetically hilarious stuff
So yes I was looking through my old blog posts and surprising they didn't make me facepalm. I mean, yeah, I was a whiny bitch but I still am a whiny bitch so not much has changed.
What did surprise me was the fact that I used some strange phrases that turned out to be quite hilarious. So here are a few.
Am not sure if my sense of humour is dysfunctional, please send chocolate to aid in treatment of dysfunctional sense of humour if it is the case.
What did surprise me was the fact that I used some strange phrases that turned out to be quite hilarious. So here are a few.
Am not sure if my sense of humour is dysfunctional, please send chocolate to aid in treatment of dysfunctional sense of humour if it is the case.
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