a short post about amanda todd

*it was supposed to be a short post, but then it became really long.

*if you're looking for compromising pictures of Amanda Todd, go to tumblr. There are more than a lot of compromising photos. Amanda was no angel.

First of all, I'm writing this because I'm irritated. Twitter and Facebook were flooded with sympathy and pity and "she's so pretty, she didn't deserve to die" and WHAT THE FUCK.

This is a video that she posted on the 7th of September this year:




Her story was that during seventh grade, she went online and chatted with strangers over webcam. The strangers called her "beautiful", "perfect", and asked her to flash them. Apparently, a year later, she did.

I'm not sure what came over her, but it's an understandable thing - she was flattered and she felt like she had to reciprocate. Let's skip over this.

Another year later, the guy that she flashed sent her a message on facebook, telling her that if she didn't put on a show for him, then he'd send the pictures to all her friends and relatives. It seemed that he knew all about her - address, school, personal information.

This is creepy, and she should have asked for help. Then again, it's hard to ask for help when 'help' requires you to reveal to everyone that you've flashed someone. So let's skip over this too.

Apparently she didn't "put on a show for him", so during christmas break, the police arrived at her door and she found out that all her friends had received the picture.

(I'm slightly confused - why would the police go to her house for this?)

Then she became a wreck, apparently. She had anxiety issues, major depression, and panic disorder. She took drugs and alcohol. Her anxiety got worse, and several times, she emphasizes that she couldn't go outside because of it. She changed school twice, but the bullying continued. At some time during the video she tells us that she overdosed on her anti-depressants.

The stupidity starts here. She had issues, which was fine. She took drugs and alcohol, which was not fine. At that point of time she would've been fifteen or fourteen. Drugs and alcohol? I'm not sure where she got them, but it couldn't have been easy. Unless she's talking about prescription drugs, which she can get from her own house, and alcohol like common beer, which, again, her house probably has.

My question is that where were her parents? Not very easy to hide the symptoms of a hangover. And if she's actually depressed enough to be doing drugs and taking alcohol, then she wouldn't be taking small doses. Nowhere in the video were her parents "there for her". (She mentioned that she moved to her mother's place, and that her dad found her once after she was bullied, but nothing else.)

Another year later, the guy that she flashed found her again, and made a facebook page. Her nude was his profile picture. She started cutting.

At fifteen or sixteen (sorry, she was fifteen) years of age, she started cutting? Very self-destructive behaviour, isn't it? Not a very clever choice.

Then she started talking to one of her male friends from her original school, and he told her that "my gf's on vacation", and that she should go over. From what it sounded like, they had sex, and she thought that he really liked her.

Let's make this clear. She was still  haunted by the 'flashing' incident and its consequences. And she was fine with having sex with a boy. Who had a girlfriend.

Then a group of girls and boys from her original school found her - the boy, the boy's girlfriend, and fifteen others. They said "look around, no one likes you" in front of apparently 50 people from her newest school. Then someone else said "just punch her already", so Amanda was pushed down and punched.

At that point, she lied and covered for the boy, because she thought that he liked her.

I'm not sure to whom, but she covered for him after he was in the group of people who sought her out and bullied her. Clever idea. Not.

She hid in a ditch until her dad found her. When she got home she drank bleach.

If she was going to commit suicide, then I don't think bleach is going to do it. It was a phenomenally stupid decision to drink bleach - she's not going to die from it, so her problems aren't going to end; it's not going to make her drunk, so she's not going to forget about her problems.

One thing that I really loathe is half-hearted suicide attempts. Suicide is important. It could potentially end your problems, but it could also turn you into a brain-dead vegetable if done wrongly. Of course, I'm not advocating suicide as a solution, because it's a stupid solution.

Amanda was then brought to the hospital. When she got home she saw that people were making fun of her again, on facebook, saying things like "I hope she's dead" and "she deserved it". Then she moved to her mother's place.

We should understand that the taunts were from childish, immature students, and Amanda, having been online for years, should have understood that too. Hell, she should've known that that's how the internet generally responds to a unsuccessful suicide attempt. That's how the internet responds to everyone.

Another six months pass. The bleach taunts continue. She doesn't understand she "gets this", why they're still following her -

Wait a second. She doesn't understand? Was she or was she not chatting to strangers when she was twelve/thirteen? Did she or did she not flash someone? It's been like three years. She doesn't understand how ugly the internet is? This isn't the what she should be saying. What she should be saying is: why was I so stupid when I was younger? Now the older me has to deal with this shit. I hate life.

She cries "constantly", cuts "constantly", and didn't go outside or meet anyone because of her anxiety issues. A month before the video she overdosed on her anti-depressants despite being counselled.

Now I present to you two screenshots from the video, and one screenshot of the video's description:

I'm not sure what she thinks she means by "to be an inspiration". She included a picture of what I assumed was her own forearm - bleeding from various self-inflicted cuts. This is how the video ends. In her defense, there was a picture of an upside-down forearm with the words "stay strong" or something tattooed on it. 

Then again, "everyones future will be bright one day". I'm not sure what she means, because her video does not show that. At all. 

Also grammatical errors and such throughout the video. I mean, I understand, I guess. She was so depressed that she couldn't do much, so obviously her studies would suffer. 

A summary of what I feel about her and her story: she was stupid to flash someone, but some asshole decided to blackmail her, and spread her photo around, and then she became depressed and made other stupid decisions. She didn't deserve to die, but she also doesn't deserve that much sympathy. She had to face the consequences of her actions, and she couldn't. 

OH WAIT. I forgot. Apparently her severe anxiety issues didn't stop her from making a video of herself singing. Some weird anxiety issues, huh. Strangely exclusive.

What I feel about people who make posts about how it's sad and how RIP!! you'll be in our hearts forever and such: stupid.

"she's so pretty she didn't deserve to die"

Are you saying that she didn't deserve to die because she was pretty? Are you saying that if she was ugly then it would be okay for her to die? Whether or not she's pretty has nothing to do with the fact that she killed herself.

I don't know what these people mean by it, and I'm not sure they themselves know. Because complimenting a dead girl doesn't help anyone. I mean, you could say it to her mother. Her mother might feel better. But you didn't say it to her parents, you said it to the stone-cold internet.

This entire thing is overrated. There's nothing to learn from Amanda Todd's story, except:

1. If you spread nude photos of a girl around, then she might commit suicide

2. If you commit suicide and you receive media coverage then everyone will be nice to your corpse

Seriously.

Now that I think of it, the entire thing's pretty pathetic. It's evident that she brought it down upon herself, but the media plays it like a sob story because it's not very popular to criticize a dead girl. And everyone else starts tweeting about her.

Why don't you go and be nice to people around you, or just continue on with your hypocritical life. I don't think Amanda's corpse appreciates your sympathy. I mean, if you knew her then you should have been nice to her when she was still alive. If you didn't know her then all you should be feeling is a slight regret that this world drove another teen to suicide.

People commit suicide every day. The only difference is media coverage. Your sympathy for a dead girl is stupid when there are people who are alive around you.