bottle tree park

29 march or 22 march i can't remember but it was a saturday in march.

so there was this little uhh park-like place in the middle of this bustling city, apparently. it's called bottle tree park and it's all quaint and not-so-modern. well, it's going to be taken down - it's actually actually down. i went on the last day of operation. super cool you could see train tracks and tall apartments behind the place. juxtaposition much.

had to submit some photos for the photography club, so brought my camera along. didn't get anything useful in the end because the theme was exuberance and i kind of shy away from exuberance.

really pretty

super non-modern

it was really bloody bright in the morning. my iso was 100 and even then i had to push my shutter speed to 1/400, or else everything'd end up overexposed. was really hot too. 

cute miniature faux bridge

cute miniature ... uh... i don't know

it's irritatingly bright and hot

they had places for fishing and prawning

a dead fish

they had kiddy fishing, and prawning, and fishing for adults. apparently they had a little bbq pit to cook the prawns for you after you caught them. i didn't try it. not a big fan of seafood. really liked the dead fish picture because it was appropriately post-apocalyptic or something.

halfway through it started to get really dark. and then it started seriously pouring.

this is the actual bottle tree imported from australia i think

some pretty flowers

this flower is super cool

doesn't this scream apocalyptic flash fiction or something equally depressing

post-apocalyptic farming, haha

as you can probably tell, i have a minor fixation with apocalypses, but only apocalypses where i survive intact okay. i got some pictures of kids catching fish but didn't want to put them up because kiddies need privacy, like the last thing anyone'd want is for people to laugh at them because of some pictures years back when they didn't even understand jackshit.

anyway i scrapped my leg on some stone or something and it kinda hurt. and bled a little but minor injury. it rained really heavily afterwards so i just kind of died and read a book. 

the real question is when i can move out

My mother never deals with the issue at hand.

She always makes it about her. "You're pissing me off." "You want to make me angry?" "All you do is make me angry!" 

She talks about herself dying all the time. "Do you want to kill me?" "I have high blood pressure! Keep it up and once my blood pressure hits 160 my blood vessels will just burst and I'll die here right in front of you."

She can't control herself once she gets angry. She literally snarls, throws things, breaks things, gets violent.

She makes herself even angrier. She stokes herself up. Once she's angry she gets even angrier.

And afterwards she talks about what a failure of a family this is.

What my mother gets angry about is evidently not my brother talking about wanting to remove my eyeballs and put grapes in their place or wanting to chop my hands off or hitting me incessantly. What my mother gets angry about is apparently how I scold my brother. She says I'm too unyielding. I need to be softer on my brother. 

Bullshit. She makes me so angry. She makes me so angry that I handle everything very gently, because if I don't, I might start breaking everything and not stop. When I get really angry, it's like there's a fire burning inside and my energy is the fuel. I find it hard to breathe and my body doesn't have much strength. It's all concentrated inside because I'm so fucking angry.

How dare she make everything about herself. 

There are actual problems waiting to be solved and she's wasting all our time, making herself out to be the sole victim.