It might be a food, a song... an anime series...
I'll be infatuated, briefly (or in the case of Code Geass, infatuation for life) and eat live breathe it for a little while. If it's a song, I put it on repeat for two, three entire days. I listen to it for five hundred times consecutively. Then I lose interest and forget about it.
If it's a food, I crave it totally. I eat and eat and eat. Then I get sick of it. (Exceptions are tomatoes and seaweed.)
And anime series... I follow it like a rabid fangirl, lose interest, and pick it up again late just because I wanted to know what happens in the end.
I'm just saying, it's annoying. I annoy myself.
Anyway, this kinda means that I'll be bored in between the bouts of infatuation. It's not that neat - ending one infatuation and picking up another immediately.
When I'm bored, I start thinking myself to death. I think about everything. I imagine millions of scenarios. Literally, I feel depressed when I do that. That might be overthinking, but anyway. it sucks. A lot.
I have to do stuff so that I don't become depressed because I'm too bored. I mean it. I twitch compulsively. Foot tapping. Like, the entire package.
.......................
Okay , I'm finishing up Ao no Exorcist as I type this, so I'm kinda distracted. It's boring and doesn't move fast enough, but whatever. I'm following the manga, but I wanna watch the anime too just in case there's other stuff.
Also, Fukuyama Jun voices Yukio.
As in, the same voice actor who voiced Lelouch Lamperouge.
So, ta-ta, off I go now.
22 December 2011
18 December 2011
EOY2011
[Strategically leaving this blank for the moment because of certain people. *Flails* NO NO PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I DIDN'T LIE.]
so this was updated in july 2013
why am i such a lazy arse
conclusion is that i worship the ground hitomi walks on okay
so this was updated in july 2013
why am i such a lazy arse
 |
| vocaloid. i think. |
 |
| what the hell is this anyway |
 |
| um |
 |
| izumi. right. |
 |
| yonor |
 |
| naruto yes? yess? i got it right. i don't even watch naruto |
 |
| um |
 |
| utapri. i think. |
 |
| well, something else that i don't know |
 |
| a cute girl with hitomi |
 |
| again |
 |
| isn't this from bakuman or something but forgive me if i'm wrong |
 |
| ga..ku....po...? |
 |
| that cute girl |
 |
| more cute |
 |
| some rin-len version again |
 |
| meirin, kuroshitsuji |
 |
| vocaloid group |
 |
| moar rin-len |
 |
| whelp |
 |
| death note, as i'm sure you can tell |
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| air gear, akito-agito pair |
 |
| goddamn there should be more air gear cosplays |
 |
| ...like hell i know what this is |
 |
| same here |
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| cute, tired, but still cute hitomi |
12 December 2011
Sometimes You Get Jealous
We've all seen the blogs about pretty girls who ditch school, have trouble passing Maths, and pierce everything.
They're skinny and pretty, don't seem to be addicted to food, appear older than they are, and hang out with guys. But they also have trouble passing subjects, ditch school whenever they want, and university? Never, unless they bribe a lot of important people with a lot of money.
But you get jealous. A little. You don't want to admit it. But really, that kind of idyllic lifestyle is kind of fun. Sounds cool.
It's not that your life sucks. You look fine. You eat food. You occasionally talk to people of the opposite gender. Your grades hover around good and okay, you don't ditch school unless you can wrangle a doctor's note, and university, with some studying, is really quite achievable.
But sometimes being a little stupider and just doing whatever the hell you want without any regard for the future is... desirable.
... Okay, okay, I've just caught myself scrolling through the blog of a girl who's the same age as me, reading her posts, which all have unbearably horrible sentences structure and spelling and... Grammar? Has she heard of grammar? Has she heard of proper legible spelling?
She's pretty, yes.
At first I tried to pass it off as curiosity, which, kind of, failed to explain why I was clicking the 'older posts' link. Surely, surely curiosity doesn't make one suffer through that much pain. (Spelling, grammar, sentence structure, I'm crying.)
Then I realised that I was just a little bit jealous.
Oh god.
How could I...?
Of her...?
I was repulsed, a little. I went 'eww'. Her. Who only has a pretty face.
End of story: I thought about it, rationalized, and thought about it some more. My jealousy disappeared. Although, to tell the truth, I wonder what it would be like to walk around with as empty a head as hers. It would be terrific, goodbye all the logical reasons and worries for the future, and all the endless thoughts that annoy me endlessly with how they endlessly swirl around and never cease.
(The real reason why I went 'eww': She goes to a school which I might have entered, if I had been a lot less intelligent.)
They're skinny and pretty, don't seem to be addicted to food, appear older than they are, and hang out with guys. But they also have trouble passing subjects, ditch school whenever they want, and university? Never, unless they bribe a lot of important people with a lot of money.
But you get jealous. A little. You don't want to admit it. But really, that kind of idyllic lifestyle is kind of fun. Sounds cool.
It's not that your life sucks. You look fine. You eat food. You occasionally talk to people of the opposite gender. Your grades hover around good and okay, you don't ditch school unless you can wrangle a doctor's note, and university, with some studying, is really quite achievable.
But sometimes being a little stupider and just doing whatever the hell you want without any regard for the future is... desirable.
... Okay, okay, I've just caught myself scrolling through the blog of a girl who's the same age as me, reading her posts, which all have unbearably horrible sentences structure and spelling and... Grammar? Has she heard of grammar? Has she heard of proper legible spelling?
She's pretty, yes.
At first I tried to pass it off as curiosity, which, kind of, failed to explain why I was clicking the 'older posts' link. Surely, surely curiosity doesn't make one suffer through that much pain. (Spelling, grammar, sentence structure, I'm crying.)
Then I realised that I was just a little bit jealous.
Oh god.
How could I...?
Of her...?
I was repulsed, a little. I went 'eww'. Her. Who only has a pretty face.
End of story: I thought about it, rationalized, and thought about it some more. My jealousy disappeared. Although, to tell the truth, I wonder what it would be like to walk around with as empty a head as hers. It would be terrific, goodbye all the logical reasons and worries for the future, and all the endless thoughts that annoy me endlessly with how they endlessly swirl around and never cease.
(The real reason why I went 'eww': She goes to a school which I might have entered, if I had been a lot less intelligent.)
Love You Forever by Robert Munsch
You can read it here, but there are no illustrations: http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/loveforever.htm
This is a children's book, about a mother who rocks her child to sleep, singing,
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
It's fine in the beginning - what any normal mother will do. Then it gets a little strange. The little tyke does all kinds of shitty things, and then the mother will invariably become pissed. But at night, she'll always crawl across the floor and rock him to sleep.
On and on. Even when he's an adult and has moved out.
Then she falls ill, calls him to visit, and he does. She sing him the song, but doesn't manage to finish because she's too ill. At which point the boy picks her up and rocks her and sing a different version of the song, where the last two lines are substituted by,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
He goes home, picks up his daughter, repeats what his mother used to do to him.
Let me stress that she rocks him to sleep every night.
Every.
Night.
A lot of people find it sweet and heartwarming. They say that it's not meant to be taken literally, that what it actually means is that mothers will always love their children.
I'm sorry, but I don't think children aged one and up (http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Forever-Robert-Munsch/dp/0920668372) understand how to take things metaphorically.
Now, time for my theory.
Instead of a mother's love, this is a story about a mother's abuse.
No, see, it all makes sense. Shush, let me explain.
When the boy was young, his mother abused him. It might have been his father or uncle or whoever, but it's not important. Someone in his family abused him - any kind of abuse works, but let's just say it's physical. They beat him.
And he grows up, lashes out, as a result of that abuse, and oh look, they're still abusing him. I'm going to substitute the rocking for beating, and the song for abuse - like, she beat him everyday, instead of she rocked him to sleep everyday.
He grows. He becomes a rebellious teenager. Of course it's because she abused him! Why else - and she keeps on abusing him.
I'm starting to like my version more and more.
He moves out. But his mother follows him - in the original story, she still rocks him to sleep every night, even though he's rather far away now and it theoretically isn't plausible for her to still rock him to sleep every night. In my version, he still has nightmares about the abuse and that experience never truly leaves him.
Get it? The parallels?
She falls ill. Calls him for a visit. Still the same abusive mother, so the guy is like, fuck all, I'm pissed, you abused me and I'm pissed. So what? Remember that scene where he sing her song back to her? In my version he's taking some slightly violent revenge.
Oh, oh, and remember how abuse victims often become abusers themselves? Yes?
See it now? He repeats it all to his daughter.
Hah.
(Also, the main reason why I'm completely freaked out and creeped out by this story - the crawling part. remember the crawling part - is this. The illustration.)
I will never let a child read this.
... Excuse me, I need to go and lock my door and windows, and then maybe huddle in a corner and cry a little because that book is terrifying and disturbing and oh god she's crawling - )
/EDIT:/ I find this link funny, especially this comment:
Jane Yolen
I am a hugger, too. I am sentimental. I am gooey over my first grandchild. I adore my grown children. BUT
I find LOVE YOU FOREVER to be about an incredibly dysfunctional family, with a mother who infantilizes her child, invades his private space, never can say "I love you" when he is awake, and even when he is grown manages his life. I am convinced she drugs his cocoa, otherwise why does he sleep so soundly when she crawls (!) into his room and picks him up every single night.
And when the teenage daughter awakes one night and finds her father holding her in his lap, she is going to call 911.
Nope--this one is a very dangerous book. IMHO. And not at all amusing.
http://www.fairrosa.info/disc/loveyouforever.html
This is a children's book, about a mother who rocks her child to sleep, singing,
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
It's fine in the beginning - what any normal mother will do. Then it gets a little strange. The little tyke does all kinds of shitty things, and then the mother will invariably become pissed. But at night, she'll always crawl across the floor and rock him to sleep.
On and on. Even when he's an adult and has moved out.
Then she falls ill, calls him to visit, and he does. She sing him the song, but doesn't manage to finish because she's too ill. At which point the boy picks her up and rocks her and sing a different version of the song, where the last two lines are substituted by,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
He goes home, picks up his daughter, repeats what his mother used to do to him.
Let me stress that she rocks him to sleep every night.
Every.
Night.
A lot of people find it sweet and heartwarming. They say that it's not meant to be taken literally, that what it actually means is that mothers will always love their children.
I'm sorry, but I don't think children aged one and up (http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Forever-Robert-Munsch/dp/0920668372) understand how to take things metaphorically.
Now, time for my theory.
Instead of a mother's love, this is a story about a mother's abuse.
No, see, it all makes sense. Shush, let me explain.
When the boy was young, his mother abused him. It might have been his father or uncle or whoever, but it's not important. Someone in his family abused him - any kind of abuse works, but let's just say it's physical. They beat him.
And he grows up, lashes out, as a result of that abuse, and oh look, they're still abusing him. I'm going to substitute the rocking for beating, and the song for abuse - like, she beat him everyday, instead of she rocked him to sleep everyday.
He grows. He becomes a rebellious teenager. Of course it's because she abused him! Why else - and she keeps on abusing him.
I'm starting to like my version more and more.
He moves out. But his mother follows him - in the original story, she still rocks him to sleep every night, even though he's rather far away now and it theoretically isn't plausible for her to still rock him to sleep every night. In my version, he still has nightmares about the abuse and that experience never truly leaves him.
Get it? The parallels?
She falls ill. Calls him for a visit. Still the same abusive mother, so the guy is like, fuck all, I'm pissed, you abused me and I'm pissed. So what? Remember that scene where he sing her song back to her? In my version he's taking some slightly violent revenge.
Oh, oh, and remember how abuse victims often become abusers themselves? Yes?
See it now? He repeats it all to his daughter.
Hah.
(Also, the main reason why I'm completely freaked out and creeped out by this story - the crawling part. remember the crawling part - is this. The illustration.)
I will never let a child read this.
... Excuse me, I need to go and lock my door and windows, and then maybe huddle in a corner and cry a little because that book is terrifying and disturbing and oh god she's crawling - )
/EDIT:/ I find this link funny, especially this comment:
Jane Yolen
I am a hugger, too. I am sentimental. I am gooey over my first grandchild. I adore my grown children. BUT
I find LOVE YOU FOREVER to be about an incredibly dysfunctional family, with a mother who infantilizes her child, invades his private space, never can say "I love you" when he is awake, and even when he is grown manages his life. I am convinced she drugs his cocoa, otherwise why does he sleep so soundly when she crawls (!) into his room and picks him up every single night.
And when the teenage daughter awakes one night and finds her father holding her in his lap, she is going to call 911.
Nope--this one is a very dangerous book. IMHO. And not at all amusing.
http://www.fairrosa.info/disc/loveyouforever.html
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