Shugo Chara

I take back what I said about Doki. Shugo Chara Party is just one huge mess of fluff and filler, with next-to-none progress with the actual plot. Come on. Party has scarred my brain for life. Especially the intro. Oh, god. Spare me. Can I just lift Ikuto, Utau, Nagi, Kukai out and put them somewhere else?

(Seriously. Ikuto can't love Amu. Just doesn't make any sense.)

Lame is Still Lame

And that sums up this year's festivities. I have to do homework on christmas and I'm down with a cold on the last day of the year. *Lied about homework, thus I'm sleeping over at Phoebe's tomorrow*

Goddamn freaking homework...

Spoiled my entire fucking year. If I get the same bitchy chinese teacher again this year, I'm just gonna sit there and cry when she comes in. And when she asks me what's wrong, I'll just say, with the utmost sincerity..."Because you're my teacher again T________T."

Yeah right. I'd probably get detention or a demerit or more homework. Which would just plain fucking suck.

Next year is going to suck even more. But I gotta survive. If only to see the stupid principal retire. I'll laugh out loud at his retirement ceremony. It'll make my day.

Ahh... My head hurts. And... TeniPuri manga... the new prince of tennis manga is not coming out, wtf. I want. I WANT. The harem in Shugo Chara sucks too. Amu is pissing me off and even Tadase's bishi sparkles are kinda boring. (Ikuto still rocks)

T_________T

School is starting soon. Lame is still lame, and things that totally suck still suck. School is still school, and I am still procrastinating. My head feels foggy and weird. I want my awesome J-pop, anime, and manga. (But I need new J-pop cuz I'm bored of my old ones, anime is too time-consuming, and the manga is either too expensive or in the library.)

I told you. This year wasn't really good.

T_T

After saving shitloads of stuff in my computer... it's finally telling me that there's no more disk space. T_T Do I really have that many songs? It's not even three gigs.

T_____T

It sucks when you have no memory space.

(Okay whatever I deleted some useless stuff I found lying around and - I think - it's okay now)

Bishiessss

I really hate people messing with my stuff.

Goddammit I want my internet time. My mom keeps plucking out the broadband stick. Bitch.

Plus she keeps touching my stuff. Fuck, my stuff is mine.

Ahh ~ anyway. I haven't been blogging much lately because it's ... time-consuming. I've started watching Shugo Chara, and while sometimes I feel like smashing my head against something because of the sheer lack of common sense of the anime, Ikuto ~~~ nya.

Ikuto ~~~

Okay, I can't resist it. Ikuto... Tadase... Kukai... Kairi...

WAI SO MANY BISHIES ME IZ JEALOUZZZZ.

EVERYTHING. BLURRY.

Basically they're doing lift renovation at my floor, so the noise is horrible and we, me my mother my brother (lack of commas, sorry), were going to go out and escape the infernal sounds. Okk, then I broke my specs.

Belated anger and shock:
ARGH HOW COULD I DO THAT! I mean, HOW COULD I. My specs. MY SPECS OMFG OMG OMG ARGH.

So and I'm gonna be without my specs until Monday. I don't know how I'll live. Everything is, yeah, a big lump of blurry. Luckily I have almost memorized where everything is on the computer screen and keyboard, or I'd be in big trouble.

(I can't really see the screen, you know. I have to squint. And that sucks. So I'm typing this half-blind)

Actually I am in big trouble, but who cares...

OH WHO AM I KIDDING I CARE SO MUCH ARGH. MY SPECS MY SPECS I CAN'T SEEEEEEEEEEEE.

EOY2010

I spent two or so hours there...

I didn't want to buy the ticket at first since it wasn't exactly worth it to spend $16 for two hour's worth of whatever. But in the end there weren't many people outside so I lent Phoebe some money and we bought the tickets and went in.

And guess what? The stamp (for re-entry) was of invisible ink :) So cool. They had this light thing to shine on your hand. I never actually found out what shape the stamp was. Kind of disappointed.

Anyway, I only took about 40 photos. Compare that to AFA... yeah okay, not much to compare. How many hours did I spend at AFA? Waaaay too many.

In the end I didn't cosplay. Not enough time. Plus the thing was too big. I knew I should have bought a smaller size. Anyway.

EOY wasn't as big but it was still kind of fun. Except the part where my feet totally hurt like hell after walking way too much. I didn't get to sit down. AT ALL.

Eto... Just... too little people there.

/EDIT/: Still haven't uploaded the photos. Still waiting.

updated july 2013

the ticket. plus my long nails.

espada tres, yes? from bleach?

honey-mori pair

one more just because it's cute

publicity for good artist

naruto. um.

.......??

misa-near pair being completely cute

shoes lol

House of Red

Is most likely the most awesome fanfiction I have ever read. Cradle of Blood? Bleh, too much angst. Lawliet/Light? It's either too long or too logical or too boring.

House of Red, now...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5401789/1/House_of_Red

I believe it's the second time I'm sharing his link, but I was pruning my favourites list on ff.net and stumbled across it again. It's unbelievable, if only for the sheer variations of shades of red mentioned. Add the taboo in, and it's perfect.

My confidence level has just dropped.

Oh well, I'm off to write my TyKan fic now, but I doubt I'll ever finish it (or anything or that matter, my homework's waiting for me too.)

#ThingsSomePeopleDontHave -> Taste. And I don't mean sweet and sour.

The Awesome Awesome Post that's Really Awesome

Honey-senpai's a weapon of mass destruction! Oh well, it's not the first time I've watched the series, but the line's even funnier the second time around. And the alien part, the special cake night, and Usagi-chan...

(I'm on episode 18)

Just ate chocolate cake... or rather, it's keeiiiiiiiiiiikiii~~~ with flowers and kawaiiiiiii things floating in the back ground, :)

Sleepovers, sleepovers. My definition: a night when one or more friends stay over at your house and you proceed to hyper with them and sneak out to eat cookies in the middle of the night and then finally fall asleep due to exhaustion at 3am while at least one friend is still hypering due to extreme sugar rush.

Well, Phoebe's (an almost confirmed maybe) sleeping over on Saturday :) ~~~

And then I'm sleeping over at her house on first Jan, which is (awesomely) her birthday :) Spending the first day of the year with Phoebe? Oh well, should be the same anyway. Stay up, hyper, eat snacks, hyper. Plus Usagi-dear's sleeping over at Phoebe's too, plus other people...



This is called an awesome AMV.

Well, that was abrupt. But anyway. (OMFG I love Beyond Birthday the little weird guy ~~~) Uhh...

And I've discovered the awesome-ness that is Alice Nine and Shou. Though Saga's not bad. But they'll NEVAR replace SHINee *fangirl* ~~~ and ajwdakhfksugsibod Taemin ~~~

Eto... Christmas shopping is really hard.

First there's all the $$$ your parents give you/you saved up, and then..

The $$$ becomes $$$  and your heart goes a little...

Well, you know...

/EDIT/: The video doesn't work and it's been so long that I've forgotten what video it is so I can't replace it. T_T

/EDIT/: /EDIT/: It's the Code Geass AMV Alt. I found a re-upped version because apparently the original uploader removed it.

Something's Wrong

First I delete almost all my files - the folder hasn't even been selected - and thus I have to restore everything from the recycling bin then sort through everything and everything and everything.

Then Blogger keeps telling me there's problems. Can't process my requests or stuff.

Screw it. I'm pissed.

As in, really pissed. I'm going to make back-ups now. So many back-ups, until it's paranoia to the point of Wikileaks and I'll never lose anything again.

Pissed.

Just lost my perfectly ordered and categorized files.

Screw it.

MakBanShi Maths

There's a total of twenty-one lions.

There are five more female lions than male lions.

How many male lions are there?

I despair. The world is doomed. I see no future for Maths anymore.

(By the way there's 8 male lions.)

(Long) (updated 2016) Death Note Rant

I really hate Mello and Near.

It's not because of their personalities, or even that they don't look nice (I freaking love Near's adorable look. And Mello is kind of really hot in his black clothes. Not to mention Matt, but...). It's because ...

They drag Death Note on and on, when it should really have ended when L died.

From the start, Death Note to me has always been a story about Lawliet and Light, and after one of them dies, it's not the same anymore. I kind of wished that Light could have found a way to resolve everything without killing Lawliet, but ...

I guess it couldn't be helped.

And if it really DID end with Lawliet's death, I would be pissed because I want to know what happens AFTER.

But really.

Death Note's all about Lawliet and Light.

But then again, it's okay in the end, since Light dies as well. (I think it would have been kind of morally wrong or something for the producers or the writers NOT to let Kira die.) Lawliet dies, then Light dies, so in the end they end up in the same place again - hell, heaven (though I'm pretty sure that given those two choices it would have been hell) or even nothingness - so it's okay for me.

I just HATE it when Light has to deal with Mello and Near, so long after Lawliet's death. It sucks. It's like, desecrating Lawliet's name, his death, and even his life (or death). Lawliet's dying scene was THE main event. It signified that something has ended.

And something did end.

But then Mello and Near came along.

I'd be happy if there could be an ending without Mello or Near ever appearing, but I guess it would be almost impossible to construct such a scenario without Mello and Near.

So while I hate them for interrupting what was supposed to be entirely about Lawliet and Light, I love them for ending the story in an acceptable way. (Now, thinking back, I realise that if Light didn't die then it would have ruined everything about Death Note.)

I love Mello and Near. I love Matt too.

Disregarding that fact.

I have found out that a hell lot of Death Note fanfics have no mentions of Mello and Near, much less Matt. It doesn't make me sad; rather, it makes me happy. Nothing but the perverse relationship (if it was even that) between Lawliet and Light - nothing could have been better.

I have also found out that many of those aforementioned fanfictions have Light somehow sparing Lawliet's life. Light and Lawliet somehow falling in love and having gay sex. Light and Lawliet always ends up together.

It's kind of a subconscious insistence, a subconscious refusal to believe that it ended simply with Lawliet's blank stare and Light's unstable act and deranged laugh. It kind of echoes in every single Death Note fan, and even the casual viewers, that please please please give them a happy ending.

I realized a long time ago that it really was impossible for a happy ending in the Death Note canon, so it propelled me to find fanfiction.

And really, the lines of words on my computer screen - the words, that once separated, made no sense at all - sometimes makes me tear up. It makes me happy that the fans are willing to read into the most subtle of hints in the canon universe and turn it into fully-fledged fanfics. Or even an AU fic.

Maybe this long post was the result of me watching Death Note again, after surviving on too much alternate-reality fanfics...

Or maybe it was the result of me browsing kpopsecrets, and mentally tearing up over the SHINee confessions (even if those posts there about 'insane-shawols, stupid-Jongkyung-haters, get-over-it-bitchez, stop-fantasizing-about-them' were kind of an interruption).

I'm currently in the middle of the second episode where Mello and Near appears (even though they only appeared at the end of episode 26, I'll count that in)...

...and I still kind of hate Mello and Near.

Oh well. Just needed to work my thoughts out, I suppose.

(updated 12/12/16)

>>more death note rant about the death note drama that came out in 2015

im back to clarify my thoughts

death note is such a classic, and i think the creators were aiming for an ideological battle. there's the light side and l side, and meanwhile everyone dies in the ideological battle between these two intellectual giants.

anyway.

death note is very precious to me and i'm actually planning on getting a subtle death note tattoo (totally gonna do it, by the way, just a matter of time)

i've always been in the light camp, because i'm a sucker for his type. it's very attractive when someone's good at something and they know they're insanely good at something. light is... like the culmination of everything this society is. like, he's topping the rest of society in qualities like intelligence and beauty and all those qualities that are valued, but he's also topping everyone else in overconfidence and machiavellianism and the bad things. he's not just the culmination, he's also the product, the best product that society could ever produce. he's what happens when you jack someone's stats in everything all the way up.

light is... just literally the best. he's just meant to shine on everyone else from the top, and i've always nursed this intense fangirl love for how appropriate his name is. all the symbolism really gets my blood flowing, me being a lit student with an interest in psych and everything.

l is like the opposite. literally nothing about him is normal, from his birth to his childhood, his education, his job, everything. he's never had to deal with anything the rest of us have ever encountered. if light is the product of society, l is the product of the absence of society. which makes it deliciously ironic how light is the one who wants to tear down society while l wants to be justice and all that, lol.

which makes it also very weird how majority of dn fans are in the l camp. but i guess he's adorable and most dn fans are too young to fully understand the seinen category lol. because any intelligent, normal adult product of this capitalist society would probably empathise with light to some extent.

i really don't know any intelligent person who's never been tempted to game everything in their favour and let everyone else deal with the consequences. by definition of being an intelligent product of society means being exposed to how the selfish are rewarded and no good deed goes UNpunished. adults would understand light and his rhetoric so well.

i guess light's ignominious death was in part due to the creators' moral obligation to the public, and partly because even seinen was too mainstream for that (light not being punished somehow). for light to win, dn would have to tilt all the way out of mainstream animanga and straight into some death game subcategory and shit. some category where the glorification of murder is more ok. i personally think the creators wanted to go even darker with dn, but held back because of how intensely popular it had become, and so also because of the cult following of young people it had gained.

anyway, the light/l relationship is something very precious to me too, because it's one of the few relationships where two people are equally impressive in their own rights, and where both have equally compelling ideologies and are equally posed to make their ideologies come true/make their ideology the mainstream.

they are so perfectly matched that i think it was only inevitable that their fight gradually departed from their respective ideologies and slowly started becoming more about each other than any ideological difference. it was first and foremost a fight between light and l, and the ideologies were only their weapons, as were the death notes and shinigamis. and everyone who died were only casualties of war, and you can really see this given how little both light and l care about those deaths. they really didn't care about them more than a statistic.

it's beautiful. it's so beautiful how something pure and high like justice and righteousness could become something that's technically no different from a fight between two kids in school. it's like the ruination of everything good and it is so poetic. it was amazing how light just casually engineered the death of a GOD, oh my fucking god i cry in awe just thinking about it. it's incredible.

dn was really about how the world fell apart between two intellectual giants.

i mean, did you ever buy into the whole handcuff arc as l really needing light to stay close for the investigation? no, the kinky handcuff arc was really about how they were fucking unhealthily obsessed with each other and just wanted to fuck each other up as bad as they could. or maybe just fuck each other, but any sexual side of their relationship is only a physical manifestation, a side note of the whole intellectual war. the handcuffs were just a metaphor for "i'll fuck you up even at the expense of fucking myself up".

and even though l technically had all the power and was the one who requested for handcuffs in the first place, light was the one who made it possible by agreeing, and the way they're handcuffed just really drove into place how they're of equal status despite how everyone else thought l was exploiting young light with his authority.

beautiful. transcendental.

and anyway, to link back to the old version of this post, i knew one or both of them had to die sooner or later, and i didn't like it, but i understood why they just had to. what i opposed to was how the introduction of mello/near/matt just kept dragging the series on, and it just felt so tired and pointless after l's death (which might also be an extended metaphor for how light felt after l's death, with no one left to truly oppose him and drive him to greater heights), but i also understood how it was inevitable and needed.

sighs.

i still like AU fanfiction versions where they drive each other to mutual ruin but they're also not dead. i don't like my dynamic opposing duo pairs breaking up from death.

Neck Pains

My neck hurts, probably a result of lying on Phoebe's bed trying to watch SHINee vids on Youtube. Or it could be my shitty sleeping position. Either way (or both) my neck hurts, and it pisses me off. It's been pissing me off ever since I woke up at 9 am today.

Whatever I do, it hurts. It aches. And nothing can make the stupid thing go away.

Fuck.

If my next post is incomprehensible because of the countless swears, then rest assured that my neck still hurts, and that it is still pissing me off.

That aside, I am doing a yaoi fiction (not fanfiction) but it's going quite slowly. Plus another Kanda/Tyki reversible pairing fanfiction, a collab with Aileen and Phoebe or one of them. It's loosely based on Love the Way You Lie parts one and two.

You know, the lyrics are awesome, even if the tune isn't that nice.