People Who Should Die

Right at the very top of that list are my parents. It's not a very practical thing to wish for, but yeah, it'd improve some things if they DID die. Such as the efficiency of things. Honestly, I could remind them about the same thing for about ten times, and the eleventh time they'd still need reminding.

How hopeless. They also get many, many, many of those debilitating headaches, which causes them to sit and/or lie somewhere and become... catatonic. Then they become completely bitchy and spacey after they wake up from their 'coma'. They (especially the female parent) tend to say stupid and pointless things just for the sake of saying stupid and pointless things.

This is my cue to have one of those debilitating headaches and sigh in annoyance.

I often wonder what exactly goes on inside their brains, because it is utterly incomprehensible to me. I am logical.  I amend that: I am mostly logical, except when I choose to abandon logic in favour of abnormalbility.

(Amelia and me: Abnormalbility is the absence of logic. Amelia I love you :D)

And then right next to that, a very close second, is my TTLY AWSUM Chinese teacher (The One Called Demetra, on ff.net). She's an old woman. She's menopausal (we think), and she's -.-|||. Why? Because she finds faults with everything I do, even when I'm not there: example, the AYLC incident, in 1A.

There are people with worse Chinese grades than me, there are people who forget to bring stuff more often than me, and there are people who blatantly says "HUH?" to her face. But for some inconceivable reason, she picks on me. Everyone knows that. The bias bitch.

Oh, and by the by, she also favours (read: bias to the point of ... whatever) two students in my class. Incidentally, those two students are the only ones who got A1 for Chinese. Funny, huh. Also they do a bit of sucking up on their parts, but I think one of them is aware of herself sucking up, but the other is probably unaware.

I saw probably. The other girl probably tries to show off a bit too. Yes. Both are girls.

Moving on to the third lucky chosen one: my principal. Oh, holy-fuckin'-god, it's a wonder how anyone can stand ten seconds of this man. (Console yourself, Helen, he retires in four years. Yeah, I know, and speaking of that, I'm gonna remain in that school simply to see him retire - and cheer like some shit)

His English (grammar and pronunciation plus vocabulary) suck. Everyone knows that. In fact, they often make fun of his seemingly uncontrollable habit of adding and "S" after everything. It gets old, sure, but it's still funny. Okay, but my point is that on the very first day of school, he told us that he prefers Chinese to English.

He proceeded to give every speech after that in mostly English.

Excluding that, he implies a lot of things for us to infer. One rotten apples turns the rest bad. The above mentioned "rotten apple" was a student, and that student was standing beside him at that point of time. Also he makes use of a lot of metaphors, similes, and other shit.

Which, most of the time, none of us bother to figure the actual literal meaning of.

Fourth: Imma run outta things to rant about. Sure there are many things to insult and poke fun at, but those are general things. I don't hate individuals. In fact, I can count all the individuals I hate on one hand. Okay, fine. So maybe I hate individuals too.

I know I hate them, because every time I think of them my head will feel like it's going to burst like a balloon or something akin to that. Not very alluring imagery. Not pleasant. Not even acceptable.

Nanana... I'm an insomniac. I realised that I really am one, after waking up multiple times on consecutive nights. For a period of two months. Shit. Screw life. I'm getting emo. Oh, and Amelia slept over last night, and I broke up with Aileen on Facebook and married Amelia. All very normal.

But then again, I'm not a very good judge for normality.

/EDIT:/ Wow this was LONG.

/EDIT:/ Mothers don't need debilitating headaches to be bitchy.

Wow My Life is Screwed

I'm just so tired all the time. No motivation. No nothing. Why can't people leave me alone? Why can't they listen? There's a reason why I prefer books to actual people sometimes, you know. There's a reason why I talk to myself, and there's a reason why no one really hates me.

Well, guess what. I can't be bothered. I can't be bothered to do anything at all. Most of the time I just lie somewhere, mostly on the sofa or something, and stare off into space and see if anyone notices me.

Apparently I'm as invisible as glass.

I lay on the sofa right beside my brother and father... for about an hour. Never noticed me.

Isn't that just great. Oh and I also hate my CCA TTM. Seniors. -.-

Clashes

Class CIP and CCA CIP tomorrow. Same time. I'm going to my class CIP.

A totally awesome thing: I'm officially not getting a good night's sleep. I sleep at around eleven? Later? And wake up before my alarm, at around five plus. Besides that I also wake up randomly in the middle of the night. I know, awesome.

But I found awesome songs. And my phone has been sent for repair (it's less than a year old, and - it's a slide phone - the top keys don't work. It also randomly vibrates). 

Oh well. I'm slightly bored. I have no idea why. I'm also completely tired out, because of my stupid CCA. 

Oh well. Everything's clashing. My CCA badges, my end of year exams... 

SIGH. Might my life improve if I studied? Yeah, I know it would, but why am I asking myself that? I already know I'm definitely not gonna study. It is WAY too tiring, time-consuming, distasteful... I believe you understand. 

KUROSHITSUJI. I love you. 

Fell In Love and I Hate It

I have something against Pitbull. The artist, not the dog, although they are surprisingly similar... It's actually regarding Enrique Inglesias too. His song, "I Like It" has Pitbull in it, meaning I should so not like that song, but I love it. Apart from the Pitbull part.

Um... today was rather typical. I copied various amounts of homework, sucked up to teachers, and swore some. During CHAMPS today... some seniors talked to us about how to study. Some words they used: procrastinate. copy homework, last-minute revising.

It screams to me: HELEN. YOU'RE SCREWED.

But oh well, you can only stay screwed for so long. Sooner or later I'm gonna get mysteriously lucky, unless of course my luck is screwed too, then in which case I'll most probably die, but hey, everyone dies, so no big deal.

Maybe, If Only

Oh yeah, I know I'm a pretty much horrible person. Aside from slacking, copying, lying, spreading rumours... you know, the usual stuff. I also wish that certain people would die. As in, in addition to the previously mentioned things.

Take, for example, my chinese teacher. I have plenty of reasons for wanting her dead, but I choose to hate her for the most insignificant of all reasons: her face and her voice.

Now I know it's stupid. Or maybe it's perfectly valid, but let's talk a bit about the stupid part first. I've always liked to get the worst over with.

Her face? Her voice? How... pointless. After all, she can't change them, unless she goes for major surgery, which I'm not sure she would consent to. But nonetheless... It's annoying. I hate her voice and her face. And the way she dresses.

And what if... it's valid? Okay, now I can't come up with anything, surprisingly, which must mean that it's actually quite meaningless... to hate her voice and face. I shall hate her anyway. I am not the sort to let logic get in the way.

Oh who cares. I'm sick of talking about her. Moving on.

I've finished Kuroshitsuji!!! Yay, and now onto season two. For some reason people all lurve Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I don't get it. Take Aileen. She doesn't like Code Geass, but loves Reborn. Now what kind of taste is that??? :D

Joking, but honestly. Code Geass? I heart. I heart heart, and I heart.

MOVING ON.

I moved house. I moved on, literally. Started on Saturday, when my mom woke me up at five (seems like that to my brain) and... yeah. Today's Monday. We haven't been able to find any eating utensils besides a spoon that we left behind and my dad fetched from the old house. So: one spoon.

And food? I ate random stuff and instant noodles for the past three days.

GOD. If I move, I'm going to start packing two months before the actual day, so that I have more than enough time to plan. So that I can find my clothes and food after moving. (Cuz, seriously, on the first day, I couldn't find any clothes. I ripped open about ten boxes before I found them. And then there was no underwear in that bundle of clothes).

It's rather hard to find things when they're all stacked up in boxes.

And especially if you are entirely unable to lift a single one of those aforementioned boxes.

tEEtH

I had a dream about my teeth today. In the dream my teeth were really yellow and stuff, and then I decided to brush them. I brushed. It felt nice and cooling. And then something went wrong.

You know that feeling when your teeth is hanging onto your gums by a thread? Yeah, I felt that. And then I rinsed, and a part of a tooth fell out, two front teeth were hanging on by a thread, and there was blood.

Oh yes, blood.

I touched my first front tooth, and for some reason pulled it out. The red-hot fiery pain.

And then the dream ended. I immediately woke up and brushed my teeth. Nightmare. Completely terrifying. I am paranoid about my teeth. I already have five fillings.

(Really, in the dream I felt it. Felt it. That's what woke me up.)

Emo Notes

Death Note:
Angst, murder, and hot guys with god complexes. What's not to love?

Anonymous Day Number One:
The computer is dying on me and only me.
It feels weird not holding a pen or pencil in my hand.

Anonymous Day Number Two:
My favourite tactic is to ignore what I don't like.
Nightmares would be very welcome.
I want to feel something other than bored, or pissed off, preferably.

Anonymous Day Number Three:
You know how they alwasy use 'isolation' as a punishment? I could use some isolation right now. I need the time to think.

Anonymous Day Number Four:
Inspiration is when things in my head just CLICK. Right now nothing's clicking.
Screw insomnia.
Being alone sucks.

Anonymous Day Number Five:
Shit, I think too much. Now I need to vent again.
Everyone has problems. I simply have more of them.
Gosh, I'm a perfectionist. And OCD too.

Anonymous Day Number  Six:
We will, we will, mock you.

Anonymous Day Number Seven:
I'm Fucking My Life (FML-ing) a lot lately. Wonder why.
I just want to die, because that would make things so much easier for everyone.
I like Japanese. It's a language I don't understand, so it can't hurt me.

Anonymous Day Number Eight:
And once again, whatever I just said flew past their ears again.
Fuck, I'm getting seriously emo here.

Anonymous Day Number Nine:
Since they don't listen, I'll stop talking.
My memory just died on my (again)

Anonymous Day Number Ten:
I'm dehydrated. I can't muster up the energy to get water.
Trying to talk to my parents is a waste of time.
Fuck you. Just leave me alone. Go away.

Anonymous Day Number Eleven:
I have a horrible headache that won't go away. It's been coming and going for the past week, and it's driving me crazy.
Dear mom, please leave me the FUCK alone.
Everything seems better after listening to depressing music.

Anonymous Day Number Twelve:
It annoys me when I have to talk to people a mere half hour after I wake up.

AND: I HAZ A DATED ONE.
July 21
I didn't get to hug my teddy bear in the car today morning, because my brother was hugging it :(

Okay, that marks the end of emo-ing for today. Time to fangirl over Kuroshitsuji, and to change my blog theme again. Apparently I'm not already busy enough. I'm supposed to go do a project on national day, which also happens to be my mom's birthday. Insane people.

Also I have not touched my homework. As expected.

Religion: ???

I think I've got something again religion. Buddhism is... pointless. Christianity is... stupid. Talking about religion tires me out. It also pisses me off, how willing people are to believe in a crackpot theory. Because you're never sure if there's really a god. If there is, there's someone to blame, if there isn't, then you can only have those idiots who believe in divine whatever stuff.

Argh. I'm just too tired to type... tons of projects. I'm going to obsess over Kuroshitsuji for a while, if you don't mind. I find the world of fantasy more fascinating than religion. Besides, it is sufficiently emo to hold my attention.

Excuse me. I've got fangirling to do.